In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping malls or centres to do their shopping. Does this have a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, when shopping centres are in the stage of their rapid development, a lot of local shops have stopped their work. It is agreed , that
this
tendency has an adverse impact on small businesses and contributes to the prosperity of large malls.
This
essay,
firstly
, will discuss what impact
this
issue has on customers,followed by an analysis of the influence that
this
problem has on entrepreneurs.
To begin
with, a sharp fall in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of local stores
contributes
Verb problem
causes
show examples
people
to go to shopping centres to purchase some products or goods.
However
, it is a positive development only for those malls, not for buyers.
Firstly
, it is time-consuming ,
due to
the crowd of customers,
therefore
it annoys
people
,
instead
of giving them pleasant feelings.
Secondly
, when someone decides to spend time in traffic jams to go there,
it is clear that
it is better to make a list of goods and buy everything in one go. It usually means that a higher amount of money will be spent ,than it was expected,
moreover
a lot of stuff can be useless.
Consequently
, it can be a waste of funds and goods,as they may remain unused.
On the other hand
, local stores provide
people
with the ability to meet their minimum needs.
For example
, bakeries have only fresh and delicious bread,
therefore
, when a person has to buy only
this
, they can avoid the need to go to the large mall.
Furthermore
, it does not take much time, so
people
are ready to pay even if the cost of the product is higher than in a shopping centre.
In addition
, small stores must develop, because
people
want to be able to work honestly and build their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
Also
, it increases the country's economy, as these
people
pay taxes.
Besides
, what is important, is the amount of
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
growth ,
as a consequence
of the existing small shops.
To conclude
,
this
essay agrees that
dramatic
Correct article usage
the dramatic
show examples
development of large malls has a strong impact on small businesses ,
however
,
this
influence is rather adverse than positive.
Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to direct the reader to the main idea you will discuss in that paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively. This could include sequencing words (firstly, secondly), contrasting connectors (however, on the other hand), and result phrases (as a result, consequently).
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific details or examples to fully develop your argument. Aim for a balance between general statements and specific instances that illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, establishing a foundation for the ensuing argument. Your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points without adding new information.
task achievement
Maintain a clear and focused position throughout your response to the question without digressing. Make sure each paragraph contributes to the overall argument and task response.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your writing by fully explaining your ideas and how they relate to the question. Avoid vague statements that do not directly address the topic.
task achievement
Provide precise and relevant examples to support your arguments whenever possible. This helps to illustrate your points and make your essay more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local shops
  • shopping malls
  • small businesses
  • community identity
  • economic impact
  • convenience
  • variety
  • shift towards
  • sustainable business models
What to do next:
Look at other essays: