New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The new technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers since the
last
decade and on
my Change the preposition
in
opinion
that’s only the beginning. I Add a comma
opinion,
am agree
that Change the verb form
agree
make
the life of everyone easier but disagree Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
of
the huge consequences that Change preposition
with
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
to
the Change preposition
for
climat
. I’ll explain myself.
Correct your spelling
climate
Firstly
, since the year 2000 , the delivery changed our life to all of us. From Amazon, Ebay
, to Uber Correct word choice
and Ebay
eat
the news technologies for buying and selling exploded. 100 years ago you could not imagine that because our Verb problem
apply
grand parents
used to go to the shop Correct your spelling
grandparents
everyday
, walking, riding Replace the word
every day
bicycle
or even horse, but never they would pay someone to go do their own groceries. Today WE CAN . You don’t want to spend hours after work at the supermarket , just click and collect. It Add an article
a bicycle
make
Change the verb form
makes
the
life so Correct article usage
apply
easier
. Correct quantifier usage
much easier
A
good example for me , and I am really happy about it, I live in Australia and not every Christmas I can be with my family , Correct pronoun usage
This a
not
every birthday I can share a cake with them, so I am really glad to just click online and buy flowers or dress at the Correct word choice
and not
last
minute for my family.
Secondly
, This
not
a good thing for the environment. We are trying to save our planet but more and more Add a missing verb
is not
industry
are building Fix the agreement mistake
industries
for
make everything cheaper and cheaper.And that Change preposition
to
start
with China. How come everything can be made from China even if the main product doesn’t come from thereChange the verb form
starts
.
I’ll explain you. I worked for 6 months in a Change the punctuation
?
cotton
farm, from seeding to picking the cotton
. Guess what are they doing with the tonnes of cotton
they harvested all year? Send it in
China, and Change preposition
to
then
buy cotton
clothes from them… instead
of just make
their own one.
In conclusion, I suppose the new technologies won’t change and will keep Wrong verb form
making
going to be developed
but I would like to make everyone understand that buying online and not in a local shop Wrong verb form
developing
are
most Change the verb form
is
a
the time Correct your spelling
of
negatif
for the Correct your spelling
negative
climat
. Think about what you are buying and if it’s really necessary Correct your spelling
climate
to
you to have it.Change preposition
for
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Further develop your ideas and explain your points more fully to ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall argument in relation to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a broader range of sentence structures and cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively and enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your response directly addresses all parts of the task and that your position is clear throughout the essay. It is important to present a balanced argument if you both agree and disagree with the statement.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments, ensuring they are directly relevant to the topic and help to illustrate your points more clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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