The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
The map shows the infrastructure of Garlsdon town with two possible locations of supermarkets that have been suggested. From an
overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that the first supermarket would be
placed
Verb problem
located
show examples
in the countryside
while
the other one was planned to be located in a busy area. There are large areas of industries with a few houses at the corner of Garlsdon. In the middle of the city, there is the town centre consisting of many population of about 65.000 people. It is recorded as the busiest area out of all regions. Supermarket soon to be developed in
this
middle of town. Fortunately, no traffic congestion happens here
Furthermore
, there are three ways available for someone who wants to go to several urban areas by passing the countryside.
Firstly
, the train provides a destination to Hindon and Cransdon, 12 and 25 km away respectively. Hindon has the largest population around 10.00 residents
while
Cransdonis 2 times bigger at 29.000. If someone wants to take their own vehicle, there is
also
an alternative way which is the main road to these two towns.
In addition
, Brandon (population 15.000) only has the main road to reach and it is 16 km abroad. In the future, you could find a second supermarket along the street to Hindon.
Submitted by cyruziqa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: