IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the envirnonment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

#government #companies #waste #materials #treatment #facility #envirnonment #support #position
The bar graph illustrates the percentages of
households
 owning and renting accommodations in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
Overall
,
households
 in owned accommodation increased throughout the years,
while
households
 in rental homes decreased. The
percentage
 of
households
 in owned accommodation was only a little over 20% in 1918 but increased steadily to almost 70% in 2001.
However
, it
then
 fell to an estimated 65% in 2011.
On the other hand
, the
percentage
 of
households
 in rented accommodation was close to 80% in 1918.
Then
, there was a
down trend
Correct your spelling
downtrend
show examples
 and the number was reduced to merely over 30% in 2001.
Nevertheless
, the
percentage
 of
people
 living in rental houses rose to roughly 35% in 2011. The
percentage
 of
people
 who lived in their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 was the highest in 1918 and the
percentage
 of
people
 who rented
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 peaked in 2001. To summarise,
it is clear that
 more
people
 are now living in owned
households
 as of 2011.
This
 might be because citizens of England and Wales enjoy a higher standard of living and
hence
,
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 capable of purchasing their own house.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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task response
Be sure to address the given prompt directly and provide an opinion on the topic. The essay currently does not respond to the prompt about whether the government should close companies that produce toxic waste without their own treatment facilities to protect the environment.
task response
Your analysis of the trends displayed in the bar graph is mostly clear, but the topic you've written about does not match the essay prompt provided. Ensure that the data is represented accurately and corresponds to the given topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay needs a clear introduction that addresses the prompt, along with a conclusion that summarises your point of view. Include a thesis statement that presents your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to segregate the introduction, body paragraphs presenting arguments, and the conclusion. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea related to the prompt.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific reasons and examples relevant to the prompt about government action on toxic waste-producing companies. Examples from real-life or hypothetical scenarios can enhance the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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