The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people visiting cinemas on seven different days in a week in one European country.
Overall
,
it is clear that
Saturday has the highest proportion,
outweighs
Correct word choice
and outweighs
show examples
other categories. It is
also
notable that except
Friday
Change preposition
for Friday
show examples
, they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
all
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
erratic values over three different years. As can be seen from the chart, Saturday was the main choice among 7 days, with two-fifths in 2003, compared to a modest 30%
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Friday and Sunday. In comparison with weekdays, Tuesday accounted for one-fifth, slightly decreased in the next two days. At the same time, Monday made up a minority, only 10%. With respect to remaining categories, Saturday witnessed a jump in 2005, with 25% and
then
reduced to 43% in 2007. The same trend applied to Sunday and Monday
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
at 33% and 13% respectively.
In addition
, Friday remained unchanged at 30% in three years, compared with the fluctuations in Tuesday and Thursday figures. As regards Wednesday, it saw a
slowly
Change the word
slow
show examples
decrease, from a small minority in 2003 to just under 10% in 2007 over a period of 4 years.
Submitted by nguyetcat.dao on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your introduction paraphrases the task and provides a clear overall statement.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your introduction and conclusion to make them more informative and bring closure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to organize ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Make sure your essay addresses all parts of the task and includes all necessary data comparisons.
task achievement
Include more precise data to support your statements and demonstrate task response fully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: