IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

#people #case #traveller
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 are commuting more than past.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
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 now can afford
travel
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 expenses. There are two main benefits of traveling
such
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 as
people
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 can gain
knowledge
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 and embrace other
cultures
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. One of the main reasons why the number of
tourism
Replace the word
tourists
show examples
 has increased is that
travel
Use synonyms
 is much more affordable than it used to be.
This
Linking Words
 is partly because of salary rises and partly because the price for essential goods
such
Linking Words
 as food and clothing has fallen. Many families now have two income earners rather than one, they have fewer kids and often have a car. All of these factors increase the likelihood of
people
Use synonyms
 becoming tourists.
For example
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, in the past, it might have cost the average person a year’s salary to
travel
Use synonyms
 from India to Singapore, but these days it is possible for Indian tourists to enjoy their holidays in another country for the cost of half a month’s pay.
This
Linking Words
 growth in
travel
Use synonyms
 means that many
people
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 can now enjoy the benefits of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
,
Firstly
Linking Words
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 can help to broaden
people
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’s horizons and
adds
Correct subject-verb agreement
add
show examples
upon
Change preposition
to
show examples
knowledge
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.
People
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 can
travel
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 to different places and can gain
knowledge
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 of other religions,
cultures
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, and western lifestyles. Meeting different
people
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 from vast
cultures
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 and societies provides an education
that is
Linking Words
 impossible to get in a traditional school, college, or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university.
Secondly
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, one can explore and embrace the good qualities of other
cultures
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 through
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, foreigners visiting India are often fascinated by Indian customs and traditions and always try to imitate these valuable traditions. In conclusion, greater affordability is the main reason for increased
travel
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, and the benefits for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 include enhanced
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and increased appreciation of other
cultures
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by narawriteshare9 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that these ideas are logically sequenced. Although your essay presents information in an orderly manner, it could benefit from clearer and more distinct transitions between points to enhance its logical structure.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay effectively. To improve, work on including a more definitive thesis statement in your introduction and ensure that your conclusion summarizes all your main points clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well supported. However, try to provide more specific examples or evidence to back up your claims. This could involve citing statistics, studies or providing detailed anecdotes.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task well and provides clear answers to the questions. To improve task achievement, ensure that your ideas are fully developed, and aim to cover all aspects of the prompt more comprehensively.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but to achieve a higher score, work on expressing your points more comprehensively. Expand on your ideas by further explaining how traveling impacts an individual or society.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to enhance the task response. Examples should be detailed, relevant, and add depth to your arguments. This could involve drawing on personal experiences or citing known facts that are directly related to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy pricing
  • Cultural exchange
  • International business
  • Heritage sites
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Global citizen
  • Study abroad
  • Standard of living
  • Destination
  • Itinerary
  • Online bookings
  • Digital nomad
  • Bucket list
  • Sustainable travel
  • Eco-tourism
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