IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that reading books is more worthwhile than exploring the internet. Discuss both views

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There are different statements about reading
books
Use synonyms
 being more worthwhile rather than diving into the
internet
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. In my opinion, I believe that reading
books
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 is truly worth the
time
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 because it teaches
people
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 to appreciate the learning
process
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while
Linking Words
 we search about a certain topic. On the one hand,
people
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 think finding information on the
internet
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 makes them lazy because they can instantly get what they want. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, some students face difficulties in answering their homework on science subjects. These students want to find out about the functions of the heart but they choose to find them on
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 because it is easier and faster. I believe
,
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apply
show examples
this
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 mindset can lead them to be lazier about their learning
process
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 and show that the
internet
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 is less worthwhile.
However
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, by reading
books
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 it can teach
people
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 to appreciate more on their learning
process
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, student need to prepare their history materials about their country, because it is already their final season. In order to tackle
this
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 issue they need to find sources like their textbooks. Even though they need some
time
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 to actually read the whole story from that book, as
time
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 goes by they will eventually understand about their own history. From the example above, it can be concluded that reading
books
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 is more worthwhile rather than the
internet
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.
To sum up
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, some
people
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 think reading
books
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 is more beneficial rather than searching on the
Internet
Use synonyms
. I believe that reading
books
Use synonyms
 is more worthwhile because it will help
people
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 to fully appreciate the learning
process
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because by reading
books
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 need
time
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 to
finally
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 understand about the topic that they want to learn.

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coherence cohesion
Develop a more precise and strong thesis statement in your introduction, clearly stating your position. Certain terms and phrases can be improved for elaboration and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, ensuring the essay feels complete and well-rounded. The absence of a conclusion can drastically reduce the effectiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by using a wider range of connecting words and topical sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are equally covered. Your essay seems to focus more on the advantage of reading books over using the internet. Discuss both sides to fully address the prompt.
task achievement
Expand on ideas with more comprehensive explanations and deeper analysis to demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use more relevant examples to support each point of view. These can be hypothetical or drawn from studies, reports, or personal experiences to add weight to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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