IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the band players was very good.You want to tell how you feel. Write a letter to the band player

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First of all,many congratulations on your extraordinary guitar performance at "Susanna Hall" in Dubai.I recently moved to Dubai and my sister invited me to go to
this
Linking Words
 show. I did not know about your band until now. But,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 performance, I became a great fan of yours. Your show was thrilling and fantastic! I have not been
this
Linking Words
 happy for a long time. Actually, my sister
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
budding violinist and
also
Linking Words
 a member of a tremendous music band.
Also
Linking Words
,I play contrabass and
Add a missing verb
am
show examples
a member of the local music group.
However
Linking Words
, I have never written my own songs and I hope your band help me write my own songs. Having
attend
Change the verb form
attended
show examples
 your concert, I was encouraged to write to you.But I had never got a chance to meet
famous
Correct article usage
a famous
show examples
 rock singer. I am hoping you help meet famous rock singer Freddies Mercury in your group. Please spend time with me to help write songs on my own. Please be considerate of my request Yours truly, Billura.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas, ensuring that each paragraph clearly connects to your overall message.
task achievement
Include more detail about what specifically inspired you in their performance to strengthen your response.
general advice
Ensure to check for minor grammatical errors, as they can distract from your message.
positive feedback
Your enthusiasm for the performance shines through, making your letter very engaging.
positive feedback
You effectively conveyed your aspirations in music, which adds a personal touch to your message.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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