It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Involving ourselves in unpredictable circumstances
Linking Words
due
to take Change preposition
apply
risks
is crucial, including in Use synonyms
professional
and personal lives. I believe if the decision is taken cautiously, Correct pronoun usage
our professional
this
would Linking Words
invented
opportunities which greatly Change the verb form
invent
served
Wrong verb form
serve
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
advantage far outweighs any potential Linking Words
disadvatages
.
Certain individuals might Correct your spelling
disadvantages
be considered
taking Wrong verb form
consider
risks
Use synonyms
as
a nightmare because they are scared Change preposition
apply
of
it would Change preposition
that
let
them to terrible Verb problem
lead
decision
. Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
This
is why usually Linking Words
people
refuse to put themselves into situations where they have never been. Use synonyms
For example
, some Indonesian citizens are going abroad to work with the aim of Linking Words
the
higher remuneration. They decided to Correct article usage
apply
left
their family and even try to go to other countries where they could not speak the language. Wrong verb form
leave
However
, news regarding expats who could not bear with the locals in other states Linking Words
founded
frequently, and the sad thing is, they are unable to back to their homeland effortlessly as the contract Wrong verb form
was found
agreeement
with the company. Despite Correct your spelling
agreement
to
Change preposition
apply
this
appeal, Linking Words
undergo
some research could prevent us from unwanted Verb problem
conducting
situation
.
On the positive side, Fix the agreement mistake
situations
risks
may lead Use synonyms
people
to encounter something new. The desires of Use synonyms
human
to accomplish dreams often being Fix the agreement mistake
humans
hold
by the feeling of fear, Wrong verb form
held
whereas
the Linking Words
risks
that we have taken might carry us to Use synonyms
the
unpredictable Correct article usage
apply
situation
, into Fix the agreement mistake
situations
a good situations
obviously, if we could overcome the negative feeling. Correct the article-noun agreement
a good situation
good situations
This
has happened to the owner of Wardah, one of the leading skincare Linking Words
brand
in Indonesia, back Fix the agreement mistake
brands
then
the owner only had a Linking Words
little
amount of cost to start the company and no background in business. Correct word choice
small
However
, she got the willpower to provide suitable skincare for Linking Words
Indonesian
and decided to Replace the word
Indonesians
took
the risk. Change the verb
take
As a result
, Wardah has been acknowledged as Linking Words
local
skincare that has Correct article usage
a local
strong
brand presence and high quality. Based on Correct article usage
a strong
the
Wardah's story, if a myriad of Correct article usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
courage
to obtain their dreams by Change the article
the courage
encountered
Wrong verb form
encountering
risks
, Use synonyms
thus
there would be other accomplishments which could Linking Words
benefited
Change the verb form
benefit
in
society.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
although
Linking Words
Correct article usage
an uncertainty
uncertainty
decision may lead Replace the word
uncertain
people
to unwanted circumstances, Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
this
Linking Words
also
could carry them to the fruitfulness if they formerly study the risk.Linking Words
Submitted by narawriteshare9 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and subsequent sentences that expand, support, or exemplify that idea.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing your ideas more effectively. Use transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. Be consistent with your argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices. For example, reference words, substitutions, discourse markers, and conjunctions to link ideas within and across sentences.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, expand on your main ideas by providing more specific examples and explanations. This will help you fully address the question prompt.
task achievement
Clarify your position and argument throughout the essay. Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.