It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Involving ourselves in unpredictable circumstances to take
risks
is crucial, including in our professional and personal lives. I believe if the decision is taken cautiously, this
would invent opportunities that greatly serve society. Therefore
, this
advantage far outweighs any potential disadvantages.
Certain individuals might consider taking risks
a nightmare because they are scared that it would lead them to make terrible decisions. This
is why people
usually refuse to put themselves in situations they have never been. For example
, some Indonesian citizens are going abroad to work for higher remuneration. They decided to leave their family and even try to go to other countries where they could not speak the language. However
, news regarding expats who could not bear with the locals in other states was found frequently, and the sad thing is, they cannot go back to their homeland effortlessly because of the contract agreement with the company. Despite this
appeal, conducting some research could prevent us from unwanted situations. On the positive side, risks
may lead people
to encounter something new. Humans' desires to accomplish dreams are often held by fear, whereas
the risks
that we have taken might carry us to unpredictable situations, into a good situation obviously, if we could overcome the negative feeling.
This
has happened to the owner of Wardah, one of the leading skincare brands in Indonesia; back then
, the owner only had a small amount of cost to start the company and no background in business. However
, she got the willpower to provide suitable Indonesian skincare and decided to take the risk. As a result
, Wardah has been acknowledged as a local skincare that has a strong brand presence and high quality. Based on Wardah's story, if a myriad of people
dares
to obtain their dreams by encountering Correct subject-verb agreement
dare
risks
, thus
there would be other accomplishments that could benefit society.
In conclusion, although
uncertainty may lead people
to unwanted circumstances, this
could also
carry them to fruitfulness if they formerly study the risk.Submitted by narawriteshare9 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your view. While your introduction mentions advantages outweighing disadvantages, the clear argument can be further emphasized.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea, which is then supported by specific examples or explanations. This will help to improve the logical structure of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use cohesive devices accurately and effectively to link your ideas and argument throughout the essay. This means using words and phrases that show contrast, addition, consequence, etc., to guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task to ensure a complete response. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of taking risks with equal depth and provide a clear overall opinion in your conclusion.
Task Achievement
Provide clear and comprehensive main ideas that directly relate to the topic. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. This will strengthen your argument and show the reader how your ideas relate to real-life situations.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example