The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy ni 20 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen

and Italy ni 20 and projections for 2050.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and

make comparisons where relevant.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart illustrates the data about
ages
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
of residents of two countries
such
as
Yemen
and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050.  
Overall
, it can be seen from the chart that both
Yemen
and Italy are more populated with people from 15 to 59
years
old. After 50
years
this
part of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
has increased only in
Yemen
while
in Italy these indicators fell,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
individuals who are older than 60
years
grew in the percentage in Italy.  
Pie
Add an article
The pie
A pie
show examples
chart shows that in
Yemen
half of the residents were children from 0 to 14
years
old. The second place (46,3%) took society whose age was 15-59 and after 50
years
this
number
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
up approximately to one in ten,
hence
,
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
leading
Add an article
the leading
a leading
show examples
position.
On the contrary
, people from 0 to 14
Replace the word
decreased
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentage, but the elderly part of the
population
Replace the word
increased
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
5,7%, albeit, in the first period their amount was lower than 5%.
However
, it must be noted that Italy is the biggest owner of
this
type of
population
(24,1%) than
Yemen
in 2000 and
this
indicator grow almost to a fifth in 2050. Humans from 15 to 59 took the first place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2000 but started to fall during the period and predicted that it dropped to a little bit lower than a half.
Population
Correct article usage
The population
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
people whose age is 0-14
not
Add a missing verb
did not
show examples
change a lot and decreased to approximately higher than 10%.
Submitted by sayoraalimjanova09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, years, population with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • young population
  • mature population
  • aging society
  • demographic shift
  • proportion
  • dominant
  • balanced distribution
  • projected increase
What to do next:
Look at other essays: