IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy ni 20 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy ni 20 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #ni #projections #summarise #features #comparisons
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart illustrates the data about
ages
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
 of residents of two countries
such
 as
Yemen
 and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050.  
Overall
, it can be seen from the chart that both
Yemen
 and Italy are more populated with people from 15 to 59
years
 old. After 50
years
this
 part of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 has increased only in
Yemen
while
 in Italy these indicators fell,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 individuals who are older than 60
years
 grew in the percentage in Italy.  
Pie
Add an article
The pie
A pie
show examples
 chart shows that in
Yemen
 half of the residents were children from 0 to 14
years
 old. The second place (46,3%) took society whose age was 15-59 and after 50
years
this
 number
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up approximately to one in ten,
hence
,
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
leading
Add an article
the leading
a leading
show examples
 position.
On the contrary
, people from 0 to 14
Replace the word
decreased
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentage, but the elderly part of the
population
Replace the word
increased
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 5,7%, albeit, in the first period their amount was lower than 5%.
However
, it must be noted that Italy is the biggest owner of
this
 type of
population
 (24,1%) than
Yemen
 in 2000 and
this
 indicator grow almost to a fifth in 2050. Humans from 15 to 59 took the first place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2000 but started to fall during the period and predicted that it dropped to a little bit lower than a half.
Population
Correct article usage
The population
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people whose age is 0-14
not
Add a missing verb
did not
show examples
 change a lot and decreased to approximately higher than 10%.
Submitted by sayoraalimjanova09 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, years, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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