Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

#television #children #two #five

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

advertisements

Use synonyms

have an important role in tempting individuals to buy a specific thing. It is a widely held view that

television

Use synonyms

should be monitored tightly not to show

advertisements

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

, a theory which I fully subscribe to. The main justification why showing

children

Use synonyms

advertisements

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

is not fruitful is the fact that they can be more affected than grown-ups by the visual aspects of the show like the graphical vision and

also

Linking Words

the song which is not a good criterion to buy for buying a material.

This

Linking Words

can lead to having a high and meanwhile emotional interest

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in owning that possession. Another explanation is

due to

Linking Words

the fact that in today’s climate

children

Use synonyms

are the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

of attention in the family and parents desire to provide everything for them, buying these toys would be not affordable for countless parents and put them under pressure. There are a few facts regarding the benefits of banning

television

Use synonyms

advertisements

Use synonyms

directed towards

children

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, parents who are the wiser people can decide what is better for their child. They can research all aspects of that toy in order to be safe and educational.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

case, kids can have more suitable toys.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, the cost of advertising is so extravagant,

consequently

Linking Words

the price of that product would be high enough to cover the expense of advertising.

In other words

Linking Words

, there may be no logical relation between the product quality and its price. By advertisement control, not only brings social advantages but

also

Linking Words

reduces the price, too. What can be concluded from the above is that I find myself among the believers who think

television

Use synonyms

advertising can have more effect on

children

Use synonyms

than adults,

therefore

Linking Words

it should be prevented.

Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on Sun Feb 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to present the main idea.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea.

coherence cohesion

Link your ideas and paragraphs using appropriate cohesive devices. Avoid overusing a single linking word; use synonyms and different structures to vary your language.

task achievement

Address the prompt fully by ensuring your arguments cover various aspects of the topic. Expand on your reasons for agreeing or disagreeing with the statement given.

task achievement

Clarify your stance on the topic by providing a clear thesis statement in the introduction and restate your opinion in different words in the conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In order to learn about the way other people in the world live, it is better to look at film or video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
From past to today, humans in one arear are curious about the lives of their counterpart. And today, we have more different methods to know their lifestyles, including films, videos, books and so on, but some people hold the view that eletronic approaches are better than traditional ones. I tend to disagree with the view.
5
band
Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Therefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is sometimes argued that students should wear uniforms in schools instead of usual clothing. I completely agree that learners should have the same uniforms for school to increase fairnessess among pupils and productivity os school work.
7
band
Theoretical subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are taught in universities but students prefer more practical subjects such as accounting and computer programming. Some people believe theoretical subjects should be abandoned in universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In universities, theoretical subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are taught, but students often prefer more practical and applicable subjects like programming and accounting. Nowadays, some individuals advocate for the abolition of theoretical subjects in universities. In this essay, I will argue against this proposition and elucidate the reasons why.
<4
band
Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?
Nowadays,camers play curitiul role in protacting people and provide them with save environment. they can use it in different places such as home and work. However,it can be used in bad way to spy on people.
5
band
Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is an ongoing discussion about computers having made life more comfortable by revolutionizing the way we do work. Others on the other hand argue that computers made life more demanding and have a negative effect on our work-life balance. In this Essay, I will give my opinion on the matter

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In order to learn about the way other people in the world live, it is better to look at film or video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Therefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Theoretical subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are taught in universities but students prefer more practical subjects such as accounting and computer programming. Some people believe theoretical subjects should be abandoned in universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.