Some people prefer living in an apartment while others believe living in a house brings more advantages. Which, out of the two, is better?

#people #apartment #house #two

While

a faction of

people

believe that

apartments

are convenient

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

for living, others argue that

houses

are the better place. I totally agree with the former view as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.

This

essay will delve into my

veiwpoint

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, the

apartments

are more secure than

houses

In other words

undoubtably

Correct your spelling

undoubtedly

show examples

the security of the

apartment

are

sophasticated

Correct your spelling

sophisticated

than

house

Add an article

a house

the house

show examples

For example

, many modern

apartments

are surveillance with

high security

Add a hyphen

high-security

show examples

cameras and guards.

Therefore

, the inmates of the

apartments

would feel safer than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

live in independent

houses

Besides

, arguably, the

people

who live in

apartments

have better social life than the masses who live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

independent

houses

Apartment

buildings have a resident

assossiation

Correct your spelling

association

associations

, which would

cordinate

Correct your spelling

coordinate

the occupants of the building and connect each other. Several residential

assossiations

Correct your spelling

associations

are forefront

Change preposition

show examples

various social activities.

Furthermore

, the common facilities are

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another obvious advantage of the

people

live the

apartment

. Most of the modern

apartments

have common facilities

such

club house

Correct your spelling

clubhouse

show examples

and swimming pools. The

residents

of these buildings can use

this facilities

Change the determiner

this facility

these facilities

show examples

without any extra cost. Since the

maintenances

Correct your spelling

maintenance

of the

apartments

will

take

Wrong verb form

be taken

show examples

by the

assossiation

Correct your spelling

association

or builders,

residents

will not worried about the maintenance cost.

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

accessibility is another merit of living in

apartments

. In detail, the

apartments

commonly located inside the city

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would help

residents

to access the public

facilites

Correct your spelling

facilities

such

library

Correct article usage

a library

show examples

and beach compared to the

people

who

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

living in

houses

in the countryside or suburban areas. In conclusion,

apartments

providenot

Correct your spelling

provide not

only security but

also

social life for the

residents

. Lower maintenance costs and easy

accessiblility

Correct your spelling

accessibility

are the

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

advantages of

apartment

Fix the agreement mistake

apartments

show examples

. Ergo, I believe that living in

apartment

Add an article

an apartment

show examples

convenient

Correct quantifier usage

more convenient

show examples

than

houses

Fix the agreement mistake

house

show examples

Submitted by ck.manshad on Sun Feb 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed with specific examples or evidence. At the moment, some examples given are quite general and could be improved with more specific details or data.

coherence cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures to add complexity and depth to your writing. Using a range of complex sentences can help your essay feel more sophisticated.

general

Be sure to check for any typing or spelling errors that can detract from the overall quality of your essay. Attention to detail can make a significant difference in the presentation of your work.

coherence cohesion

It's good to see an introduction and conclusion present, but make sure these also reflect the main points of your essay thoroughly. The conclusion could benefit from summarizing your arguments more distinctly.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use linking words to connect ideas between and within paragraphs. While there is some usage of connectors, more variety and accurate use could improve the flow of the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people prefer living in an apartment while others believe living in a house brings more advantages. Which, out of the two, is better?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of social media has affected personal relatioships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actor, singer or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead

Many people believe that playing games teaches us about life while others believe that children waste their time by playing games. What is your opinion?