IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
#modes #transport #travel #work #european #city
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
data
Use synonyms
 illustrates different types of ways
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in one European city selected for going to work or travel in 1960, 1980 and 2000 respectively. The
data
Use synonyms
 illustrates 4 different transport: Bus,
Car
Use synonyms
, Bike and
Foot
Use synonyms
 values that
people
Use synonyms
 selected for going to work or travel.
Overall
Linking Words
, each year has different frequently used transport. The highest
data
Use synonyms
 was "
Car
Use synonyms
" in 2000 and the lowest was
also
Linking Words
 "
Car
Use synonyms
" and "Bike".
First,
Linking Words
the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 used "
Car
Use synonyms
" and "
Foot
Use synonyms
". In 2000, the date of "
Car
Use synonyms
" rated over 35 and it is more than 5 times of 1980's "
Car
Use synonyms
" graph. The "
Foot
Use synonyms
" in 1960 indicates accurately 35 and
this
Linking Words
 is the highest bar involved in the "
Foot
Use synonyms
" article.
Next,
Linking Words
there are two bars which had the lowest
data
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
. The "
Car
Use synonyms
" in 1960 had more than 5 but lower than 10.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it recorded the lowest among the three years.
As well as
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 value, the 2000's "Bike" had exactly the same graph which is over 5.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in 1980, "Bus" appeared
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
 most popular way that
people
Use synonyms
 were transported which is over 25 and "
Foot
Use synonyms
" was the lowest transport which was less than 20.
Submitted by chwkmkmn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words data, people, car, foot with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: