Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

Many people are convinced that academics and

technocrats

Add a verb

technocrats are

technocrats were

show examples

more valuable than musicians and artists in

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

show examples

world. In my opinion, from the point of view of public importance, many creative professions are not strictly necessary. In turn, technical specialists and researchers are needed by society to solve important problems of living. Science and technology occupy an important place in the

life

of society. Scientists

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

us knowledge about the world that surrounds us,

shapes

Correct subject-verb agreement

shape

show examples

our worldview, create and disseminate new cognition, improve various aspects of human activity and introduce these technologies into everyday

life

As a result

of scientific developments, humanity has defeated many deadly diseases, which has increased the

life

expectancy of people.

For instance

such

deadly diseases as smallpox, cholera, and tuberculosis were defeated

due to

the discovery of vaccines by scientists.

In addition

, тechnical and scientific discoveries have made it possible to produce food on an industrial scale, which contributes to solving the problem of hunger in the world. I believe that creative professions are not vital for the functioning of society. Despite the importance of art, a person can quite live without paintings, music and movies if necessary. I agree that creative products help us to be closer to the beautiful,

distract

Correct word choice

and distract

show examples

us from routine

life

, but they will not help us survive in emergency situations.

For example

, during wars or natural disasters, it is more important to have good communication, means of

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

, and food for the population than art objects. In conclusion, despite the positive impact of art on our lives,

Change the capitalization

show examples

would like to restate my position, that musicians and artists do not solve the vital problems of humanity, and the value of scientists and technology experts is undeniable

Change preposition

show examples

the present day.

Submitted by 595cga on Sun Feb 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Be sure to provide a balanced view when discussing extent of agreement; explore both sides of the argument, even if your position leans towards one.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points, which would strengthen your argument and show a deeper analysis of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on increasing the complexity and variety of sentences to improve coherence. This can also involve using a wider range of linking words.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure paragraphs are well-structured and that the main idea of each paragraph is clear from its opening sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

valued
modern society
scientists
technology experts
musicians
artists
reliance
scientific advancements
practical benefits
driving economic growth
daily lives
culture
human emotions
express ideas
provoke thought
spiritual well-being
emotional well-being
preserving cultural heritage
subjective nature
diversity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In many nations around the world, more and more individuals are becoming interested in searching out the history of their houses or buildings. This essay will examine the possible reasons behind it and how individuals can research it.
5
band
You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter Introduce yourself. Say why you are interested in this sports club. Ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members,costs
I am writing to inquire about join in your private sports club course. I have planned to commence soon a course. I am hoping you would teach me some skills and knowledge.
5.5
band
Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?
In this modern era, most students around the world have their own mobile phone. While this device without a doubt plays a big role in terms of safety, learning, and networking, many schools have chosen to restrict their use in school grounds. In my opinion, this is a positive step and can bring many benefits, not only academically but also socially and physically.
5
band
The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generations. What are the reasons for this, and how can the problem be tackled?
These days, the percentage of people who are eating unhealthy sustenance without doing exercise has risen, due to many reasons This essay will discuss and draw my personal conclusion.
5.5
band
Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?
In this day and age, being an employee possibly might have a wide connection. Due to the fact that the atmosphere of the office consists of sharing co-working and other facilities, facing other members' workers is part of daily life. Even though working hours are the practical rule for being productive, releasing stress could be leisure time for either external or internal colleagues. In contrast, there are some officers who frequently choose a non-combination between their own private lives and work. Although it can be beneficial for spending free time with partners, keeping a separate life also has some aspects to consider.

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?

The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generations. What are the reasons for this, and how can the problem be tackled?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?