Governments should not financially support artists (like painters, writers, musicians, etc.) because arts do not improve people's lives. Instead, they should let artists support themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People have different
view points
on the Correct your spelling
viewpoints
government
spending money on artists
as this
is not the direct contiribution
to Correct your spelling
contribution
improvement
of the community. Add an article
the improvement
In addition
to that, they believe that artists
should be capable enough to sipport
themselves. Correct your spelling
support
although
, there are strong aguments
on both sides, Correct your spelling
arguments
but
I feel that the work produced by Remove the conjunction
apply
artists
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
considerable
upside in Correct article usage
a considerable
one'
Change noun form
one's
lives
.
There are Fix the agreement mistake
life
number
of convincing arguments that Change the article
a number
the number
acknwledges
the fact that, being creative is one form of happiness a Correct your spelling
acknowledges
acknowledge
inividual
can bring in their Correct your spelling
individual
day to day
life that Add a hyphen
day-to-day
eradicate
the stress Change the verb form
eradicates
accumilated
in Correct your spelling
accumulated
our
mind because of Correct pronoun usage
their
extensive
busy life. Change the word
extensively
Artists
can bring the
cultural values to Correct article usage
apply
the
society by expressing Correct article usage
apply
the
unsaid essential things with the help of their paintings, music, poems and books. With initial support , Correct article usage
apply
a
art business can bring Change the article
an
the
Correct article usage
apply
economical
independence and help other fresh creative heads by increasing their self-esteem by mentoring Replace the word
economic
as well as
enhancing their skill. Consequently
, there will be a considerate improvement in living
standards of Correct article usage
the living
the
mankind.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, there are some convincing arguments that points
Change the verb form
point
on
Change preposition
to
th eother
essential places where Correct your spelling
the other
government
should put more Correct article usage
the government
efforts
which Fix the agreement mistake
effort
directy
impact Correct your spelling
directly
the
civilization. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, more investments should me
made on Correct your spelling
be
the
Correct article usage
apply
skill developing
institutions Add a hyphen
skill-developing
such
as IT, plubing
, Correct your spelling
plumbing
electrical
that will help to secure a Correct word choice
and electrical
high paying
job and empathize quality living.
Add a hyphen
high-paying
To conclude
, It is evident that artists
should not only rely on the
Correct article usage
apply
government
institutions fir
Correct your spelling
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
finantial
help and have several backup options as Correct your spelling
financial
government
have other things to focus Add an article
the government
a government
as
well.Change preposition
on as
In contrast
to that opinion
I believe that initial support will be very Add a comma
opinion,
benificial
for Correct your spelling
beneficial
the
young Correct article usage
apply
artists
to stand on their feet.Submitted by sanjeetkaursandhu on
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coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph follows a clear idea. Avoid jumping from one topic to another within the same paragraph.
coherence cohesion
While you have presented both an introduction and a conclusion, refine the quality and clarity of these sections to better introduce your stance and summarize your points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, but aim to develop these further with more detailed explanations and a richer variety of sentence structures.
task achievement
Ensure that you answer all parts of the prompt completely. It may help to explicitly outline your agreement or disagreement with the statement in your introduction.
task achievement
Build on your ideas with greater clarity. Clearly define your stance and thoroughly explore your points within the body of the essay.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay and provide a clearer indication of your views on the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.