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The most important reason for a young person to attend a university is to increase the amount of money that he/she will earn in future. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #person #university #amount #money #future
It is often argued that for many individuals the key to
possess
Wrong verb form
possessing
show examples
 a high level of income
laid
Replace the word
lies
show examples
 in obtaining
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
 degree. I entirely agree with
viewpoint
Correct determiner usage
this viewpoint
show examples
 for a number of reasons, which
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 outlined below. To my mind, only after
graduation
Add a comma
graduation,
show examples
 students are faced with opening
door
Fix the agreement mistake
doors
show examples
 to the most respectful companies, giving them the best start to build their successful
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. In
this
 case, potential employers tend to hire individuals who
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 able to enter and complete demanding academic courses in
university
.
This
 moment serves the job market as
Correct article usage
a distinguish
show examples
distinguish
Wrong verb form
distinguishing
show examples
 ability to identify
high performing
Add a hyphen
high-performing
show examples
 professionals and select them from
overage skilled
Add a hyphen
overage-skilled
show examples
 employers. Eventually,
former
Correct article usage
a former
show examples
 student receives
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
 more generous offer than
experienced
Add an article
an experienced
show examples
 person without
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 degree.
Also
, attending
university
 is a first step to
form
Wrong verb form
forming
show examples
solid
Add an article
a solid
show examples
 base of networking. Particularly, with
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
, old schoolmates will become clients, trusted business partners and valued contractors, contributing to career development and eventually to
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 pocket.
However
, even
some
Correct word choice
though some
show examples
 may suggest that connections can be built beyond
university
 walls, they fail to mention the following blatant fact. Namely, 99% of first clients come from
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 and,
thus
,
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 plays a fundamental role
to formulate
Change preposition
in formulating
show examples
such
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 degree can be seen as the most important reason to increase income through its academic pressure, competitiveness and networking it can offer.
Submitted by Viktoriia.plat on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to clearly connect ideas and arguments throughout the essay.
task achievement
Present more balanced arguments by giving consideration to the counterpoints or limitations to your view and address them in your essay.
task achievement
Use more detailed and varied examples to support your main points, which will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and make your writing more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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