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Writing Samples /
Band 6

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
People's valuing process by social hierarchy and individual affluence in recent times become more suitable, by which old attributions, including individual prestige and benevolent acts, become more irrelevant. I do agree that social flag and wealth are more imperative than old-fashioned judgement,
such
 as honour and generosity, but the old one can not be abolished. Regarding a new stream of person worth assessment, it has much influence by capitalism thriving in which it can transform public scrutiny to be more economical-oriented.
Moreover
,
this
 orientation is driven by an economic view, including how much people's saving and or how high their social communities
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
 To illustrate, now, to recruit new acquaintances, several points have to be provided and satisfied,
such
 as bank balances and the communities in which they are engaged.
This
 act is done with the motive of gaining economic benefit as much possible as.
As a consequence
, the shift of orientation will disrupt the old one. In the past, a person's prestige was valued by some individual's ability which generated honour or generosity.
For example
, people from prosperous families will be more well-educated, and collaborate with their good circumstances resulting in a good manner. But, in
this
 era,
this
 acumen has been neglected. Albeit become irrelevant in terms of the personal value judging process,
this
 past stream still becomes a preeminent thing to ensure social well-being. Person judging processes
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 witnessed a new transformation process to become more materialistic and disrupt the old way. Yet, the latter is still needed to control the society as well. I hope that the changes will lead to a new social civilization.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be well-developed with clear explanations.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by presenting ideas in a more organized manner. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
Support your main points with relevant, specific examples. Avoid general statements that do not substantiate your argument.
task achievement
Work on phrasing your ideas in a clear and comprehensive way without repetition or ambiguity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
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