IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You arranged to visit a friend in Canada but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -explain the important event -apologise for the stuation -suggest a new arrangement

#visit #friend #canada #event #home #change #dates #-explain #-apologise #stuation #-suggest #arrangement
Dear Khoshim, I hope
this
 letter finds you in radiant health and the best of spirits.I'm writing
this
 letter to apologise about the event which is I will not
visit
 to your
country
. You know that I'm
manager
Add an article
the manager
a manager
show examples
 of ABC company.I have to do a lot of things for our company.
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
special meetings,different promotions and et. cetera.
Last
 month,I assured
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 I
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
your
country
.
However
, Now I can't
visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
country
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I have
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 meeting with foreign client. The meeting is very important for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. I would like to
visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
your
country
. But, I can't
visit
.
Thus
,I am afraid that. I can assure
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 when the meeting
is passing
Wrong verb form
passes
show examples
 I will
visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
your
country
. The meeting finished on
15th
Correct article usage
the 15th
show examples
 of September.
Then
 I can
visit
. I would like to that you should understand me.I'm looking forward to your
imediately
Correct your spelling
immediate
immediately
 action
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my letter. Yours sincerely, Khusan Esomurodov
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Use a clear structure with an opening and closing paragraph and one main idea per paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and clearly transition to the next paragraph with appropriate linking words.
task achievement
Expand on the explanation of the important event mentioning more specific details that make the situation clear and understandable.
task achievement
Apologize more formally and sincerely, and offer a more detailed alternative arrangement to show thoughtful consideration for the inconvenience caused.
task achievement
Check the consistency of verb tenses throughout the letter and avoid switching between past, present, and future without clear reason.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and paragraphing to enhance readability and convey the message more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to add interest and clarity to your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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