2) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
Teenagers
is
a very active phase of Verb problem
are in
life
when they have so much curiosity to explore Use synonyms
about
the world. In order to utilize that energy in a positive way, I do believe that they need to be involved in Change preposition
apply
a
social Remove the article
apply
work
as Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
volunteered
. Replace the word
volunteers
This
will help Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
the
community
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
teenagers
themselves as it will give them a kind of sense of being worthwhile in Use synonyms
a
Remove the article
apply
society
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, it is obvious that Linking Words
Use synonyms
community
will Correct article usage
the community
get
benefit from it as it will help to build Verb problem
apply
harmonious
Add an article
a harmonious
society
.
There are three reasons why I recommend to include Use synonyms
teenagers
in unpaid social Use synonyms
work
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, when Linking Words
teenagers
start working in the Use synonyms
community
from the early age of their Use synonyms
life
, they will learn different Use synonyms
life
skills which will be useful for them in the future. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, it will help them to gain Linking Words
work
experience which will make their Use synonyms
life
easy to find Use synonyms
the
job in Correct article usage
a
their
adulthood. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Moreover
, Linking Words
teenagers
will feel the sense of being included and being part of Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
which Use synonyms
help
them to grow mentally and physically. Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Thus
, I strongly support Linking Words
to involve
Change the verb form
involving
teenager
in social activities.
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
Secondly
, encouraging Linking Words
teenagers
in social Use synonyms
work
will help to lower the risk of them getting involved in illegal activities. As Use synonyms
teenagers
are very curious by Use synonyms
the
nature to see the world and they can easily Correct article usage
apply
influences
by Wrong verb form
be influenced
other
as their articulative ability to Fix the agreement mistake
others
distinguise
right and wrong is not fully Correct your spelling
distinguish
develop
, they might choose the wrong way during Wrong verb form
developed
this
stage of Linking Words
life
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, keeping them busy Linking Words
in
Change preposition
with
community
Use synonyms
work
in their free time will help to distract them from making Use synonyms
the
bad Correct article usage
apply
decision
in their Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
life
.
Use synonyms
Thirdly
, involving Linking Words
teenagers
in Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
community
volunteer Use synonyms
work
will set an example for others to be selfless and help each other. Use synonyms
Moreover
, it will help to build a peaceful, harmonious and cooperative environment in the Linking Words
community
. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
observeing
Correct your spelling
observing
teenager
doing Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
the
social Correct article usage
apply
work
will encourage others to do Use synonyms
the
volunteer Correct article usage
apply
work
in future. Use synonyms
Furhtermore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
teenagers
will feel Use synonyms
empower
, proud and confident being part of Change the form of the verb
empowered
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and being able to bring Use synonyms
the
change Correct article usage
apply
in
the Change preposition
to
community
.
Use synonyms
Thus
, it is beneficial for both Linking Words
Use synonyms
community
and Correct article usage
the community
teenagers
themselves, I would highly recommend Use synonyms
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
to
participate in social activities.Fix the infinitive
apply
Submitted by gita_tiliza on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. The introduction should present the essay topic and your thesis statement. Each body paragraph should introduce a new idea, supported with explanations and examples. Finally, the conclusion should restate your main points and summarise your overall argument without introducing new information.
task achievement
To improve task response, make sure your position is clear throughout the essay. Develop your main points with relevant, detailed examples that directly relate to the topic. Try to explore both the benefits and potential drawbacks of the argument to fully address the 'to what extent do you agree or disagree' question.
coherence cohesion
Increase coherence and cohesion by linking ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Use a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas. Additionally, make sure to reference the main topic in each paragraph to keep focus and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.