IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 wish to try new
things
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,
people
Use synonyms
 like to visit
places
Use synonyms
 and types of food. Other
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to do
things
Use synonyms
 which they are familiar with. I will explain the above statement in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
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 start to try new
things
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 like visiting
places
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 and trying to eat a variety of foods. As the country is newly developed everyone prefers to do different
things
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. Even educated and uneducated
people
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 prefer to visit
places
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 all around the
world
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 and they want to explore more
things
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. Some
people
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 have started to explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
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 in and around the
world
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.
For example
Linking Words
, many of my friends have started to explore the
world
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 and they find an option to do different
things
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 with
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of cultural
people
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. They have visited a lot of
places
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, types of foods, various travel options and a good itinerary has made them explore
things
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and all around the
world
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
people
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 want to do the same
things
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 which they are familiar with. Some
people
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 do their regular routine as they do not want to change it. They are not ready to face risks and burdens which they don’t want to do. They will do the same
things
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 until they want, they won’t change.
For example
Linking Words
, my grandmother always cooks only the same dishes and she wants to do the same thing and she doesn’t want to do any different
things
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 at all. It may be caused by practice and experiences in the early stage.
To conclude
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, it is good to update ourselves on the newly developed
world
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 and we may try to do different
things
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,
therefore
Linking Words
;
people
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 can explore the
world
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 in and all around the
world
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. Some
people
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, prefer to keep doing
things
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 they are familiar with.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic of trying new things versus sticking to familiar activities, but the response could be developed further. Be sure to expand on both views systematically, offering a balanced discussion before presenting your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ideas should be organized more logically, with clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraphs effectively. Work on creating smooth transitions between points.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your main points. These examples help illustrate your arguments, making your essay more persuasive and engaging.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
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