5/2 Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

#someone #luck

What is the key factor to become successful?

This

question has been argued over decades. Some believe

luck

is the main reason.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others think excessive effort,

such

as spending more time and energy, is the crucial point of success. Personally, I partially agree with the former stance, the following content will outline my reasons. Undoubtedly, without any

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

, the achievement and goals can never be reached.

For example

, in order to become an experienced doctor, medical students need to spend years of study and accumulate excessive experience.

In addition

, they need to keep updating their knowledge and focus on every detail from patients,

as a result

, these students can become experts in their fields.

Similarly

this

concept can be used

Change preposition

for

show examples

every successful person in our community, the factor of achievement must

contains

Change the verb form

contain

show examples

plenty of effort, time and energy which people have spent.

However

luck

also

plays a crucial role on the road to success, it is like a shortcut for a minority of people.

For instance

while

students

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

amount

time

Change preposition

of time

show examples

for study, some of them can find an easier way to understand the lecture. As for job

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

, some applicants can perfectly display their ability in interviews.

Nevertheless

, others might encounter unpredictable accidents

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

lose their chance to join interviews.

Therefore

luck

might not be the most crucial factor, but it can

also

influence the result. Generally, there are various factors which might affect the achievement

Change preposition

show examples

the target,

luck

Correct word choice

and luck

show examples

just

Add a missing verb

is just

show examples

one of them.

Hence

, people should not only pray for

luck

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

need to work harder to reach their goals.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Mon Feb 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, ensure there is clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should naturally follow from the one before, with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Continue including an introduction and conclusion as they are both present and well-structured, but aim to more explicitly restate your thesis in the conclusion for a stronger final impression.

coherence cohesion

Ensure main points are supported with specific examples or evidence. While you have provided examples, they could be further detailed to enhance their impact and clarity. Consider giving more in-depth examples or personal anecdotes that clearly illustrate your points.

task achievement

For complete response, ensure that you directly address all parts of the prompt throughout the essay. While your essay does tackle the overall topic, you could explore the prompt's question more thoroughly by discussing different viewpoints more explicitly.

task achievement

Your essay displays clear and comprehensive ideas. To improve further, refine these ideas with more sophisticated language and varied sentence structures to fully convey your analysis and reflections.

task achievement

To score higher on relevant, specific examples, tie your examples more closely to the question of whether achieving aims is mostly a question of luck. Use examples that directly relate to success being attributed to luck, contrasting it with effort where necessary.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

diligence
consistent effort
inherent talent
honing skills
external factors
upbringing
social connections
economic background
right place at the right time
contributing factor
conjunction
success
achievements
endeavors
fortune
serendipity
determinants
efficacy

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5/2 Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some say that cars should be banned from city centres. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.