Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.
Many
people
believe that the government
is responsible for implementing ways to improve healthy
lifestyles of Correct article usage
the healthy
people
. While
others argue that leading a healthy lifestyle is an individual choice. This
essay will discuss both views and provide my opinion.
Examining the former view, the propionate claim
that it is the duty of the Correct subject-verb agreement
claims
government
to take care of the food
habit
of Fix the agreement mistake
habits
people
. To a large extent, it is like imposing the rules if there are strict rules for junk food
availability. For example
, if there are limited outlets, many people
will avoid going to such
places. Also
, they can put restrictions on the production of certain food
. To add to that, the Fix the agreement mistake
foods
government
also
can put a restriction on soft drink products. So as much as less availability as less use. So by that, they can control the uses.
On the other hand
, I believe that individuals take some responsibilities
for their diet and health. Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
This
is because most people
lead a sedentary lifestyle. For example
, people
can drive to work instead
of riding bicycles. Many people
prefer staying at home to engaging in outdoor activities. In terms of children, they have to face pressure from studying and spend less time on sports. Furthermore
, the prevalence of fast food
and processed food
leads to the
imbalanced diet. Because of the hectic life, Correct article usage
an
people
do not have enough time to prepare foods
. Fix the agreement mistake
food
As a result
, junk foods are favored
by many customers. Change the spelling
favoured
However
, these foods contain too much fat and sugar, which would make people
suffer from dangerous diseases. Therefore
, it is the
time for every person to Correct article usage
apply
aware
of their lifestyle and eating Add a missing verb
be aware
habit
.
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
To conclude
, I think both are equally responsible, people
must be aware about
their own health and take care Change the preposition
of
about
it, Change preposition
of
on the other
hand
the Add the comma(s)
hand,
government
should find the
way to put it into Correct article usage
a
people
’s mind
.Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Submitted by dohuyhoang on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure you have a clear thesis statement that outlines your view and the structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoothly connecting paragraphs and ideas with appropriate transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples to fully support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure to address the task by discussing both views comprehensively and providing a clear personal stance.
task achievement
Increase the specificity of your examples to better illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?