Teaching art in schools also improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#art #schools #students #performance #subjects

It is often considered that in the contemporary world, the individual nation

provide

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provides

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education

to the youngsters on top priority

while

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apply

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other

Correct article usage

the other

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population thinks that giving

education

to the aged guy who cannot read or write is essential to the community which

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

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additional funding.

Thus

, I assent to the notion which

further

leads to the logical conclusion. Commencing, there are various factors which

gives

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give

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the benefits of learning by elder one as, if they are able to read and write, they can easily determine the expired products by seeing the package

otherwise

, they use

out dated

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outdated

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products which are detrimental for their health.

However

, Old age netizens

keenly

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are keenly

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interested in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reading

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apply

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spiritual books and if

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apply

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they are educated only

then

they can read.

For instance

, in Delhi, recently the school

Wrong verb form

was

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built for the populace which is above 40 years of age.

Probhing

Correct your spelling

Probing

ahead, the adult person with no

education

cannot determine the government rules,

additionally

Correct word choice

and additionally

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not able to understand the policies that the federal officials are generally conducted for public welfare.

Moreover

, the new generation is too much workaholic as they don’t look

the

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at the

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medicine

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medicine's

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expired

Replace the word

expiration

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date, and give

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it to

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their grandparents which can be harmful to them.

For example

, in Chandigarh, there was a family who

recommend

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recommended

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the medicine to the parents and after one hour the

parent

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parents

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die

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died

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due

that

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to that

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drug. In a nutshell, the

education

system should be

offer

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offered

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to the aged mankind which aids

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apply

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their life

along with

the civilization.

Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on Mon Feb 05 2024

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task response

Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt. The provided essay does not directly answer the question about the role of art in schools and its impact on students' performance in other subjects. Make sure to express a clear opinion on the topic and provide relevant supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Your essay needs a clearer structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea, and make sure all paragraphs are logically sequenced and coherent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Teaching art in schools also improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some cities create new housing for thier growing population by constructing a samller number of high-rise buildings.Other cities create more of Low-rise buildings whcih solution is better in your opinion

The popularity of tourism is increasing day by day. There are many benefits of tourism, but it also creates some problems. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some feel that punishment should focus more on rehabilitation instead of long prison terms. Others feel prison terms are important for social stability. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that they have the right to use as much as fresh water they want, others believe government should control the use of water as it limited sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?