Some people believe that sports is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, there are too many people
Correct pronoun usage
who argued
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argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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whether sports
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
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as
Change preposition
apply
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an essential part
for
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of
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
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school life.
Other's
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Others
show examples
assert that It's should be an option not primary. Personally, I am totally
favour
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in favour
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of the first view. Convincing arguments can be made that
Use synonyms
sport activity
Fix the agreement mistake
sports activities
show examples
(cardio)
such
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as running and
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wight
Correct your spelling
weight
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lifting will
impacts
Wrong verb form
impact
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our bodies in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
positive direction.The fundamental reason for
this
Linking Words
is
sport
Use synonyms
is one of the most effective
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
that
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
human mental health and comprehensive skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
It's
Verb problem
it
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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a better look
on
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at
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our body shape which
bulid
Correct your spelling
builds
self-confidence and
Correct article usage
a stronge
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stronge
Correct your spelling
strong
stronger
personality.
For instance
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, football players
such
Linking Words
as Ronaldo
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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one of the most famous
playres
Correct your spelling
players
all over the world. He used to
playes
Correct your spelling
play
soccer since he was a child, and he
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
the champion after a long term of discipline and
consistancy
Correct your spelling
consistency
.
Second,
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Parents must educate their own children to do at least one kind of
athilite
Correct your spelling
athlete
activity. Research has found that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
at young age who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not tend to do any sports are more likely to have a higher
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of heart diseases than those
how
Correct word choice
who
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dose.
For example
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,
due to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
study circumstances students
are skips
Wrong verb form
skip
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doing any
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activity and they keep
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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excuses
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
beening
Correct your spelling
being
busy and consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
optional part. In conclusion, it is
undenaible
Correct your spelling
undeniable
that
sport
Use synonyms
has been selected as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essential and primary part
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. After providing the examples of both cases
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the previous paragraph above, I believe that
sport
Use synonyms
should be playing a prominent
rule
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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an optional selection.
Submitted by khaleefalkhalaf on

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. The opening paragraph should also preview the main points that will be discussed.
Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-developed.
Cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them. Aim for coherent linking of ideas and smoother transitions.
Grammar & Sentence Structure
Correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure to aid in clarity and readability.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Discuss both views presented in the topic and give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition to show lexical resource. Also, carefully check spelling and word usage.
Conclusion
Include a final conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your position clearly.
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