There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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many
people
Use synonyms
believe that
money
Use synonyms
is a major key to considering a
job
Use synonyms
to be worthy.
While
Linking Words
it is true that
money
Use synonyms
is important , other main reasons must be considered
along with
Linking Words
it.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
Add a comma
Nonetheless,
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay displays that
money
Use synonyms
alone can not be the only main
factor
Use synonyms
. On one hand , it is widely accepted by the majority of
people
Use synonyms
that with
money
Use synonyms
not all but most things can be accessible.
Due to
Linking Words
the offers that the market tries to deceive us with , it is impossible to live without
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the costs of accommodation and studying
Linking Words
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
have highly increased.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the need to be observed is another fact nowadays ,
therefore
Linking Words
most
people
Use synonyms
care about their performance in public which requires good clothing that costs a lot.
According to
Linking Words
many articles, not only
money
Use synonyms
is an important
factor
Use synonyms
, but it is
also
Linking Words
needed to get a
job
Use synonyms
in the first place since most of the
time
Use synonyms
a university degree is needed to apply for a
job
Use synonyms
and the costs of learning are not cheap.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
job
Use synonyms
is something that
people
Use synonyms
doing it must get satisfaction from and it is not possible only with
money
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, most humans have a need to be respected in public which is something that wealth has little to do with . Another
factor
Use synonyms
would be the working
time
Use synonyms
and free
time
Use synonyms
for the workers. Based on a report made by the Washington Post , over 80 per cent of Men and Women who were happy with their
job
Use synonyms
, had a boundary between their workplace and free
time
Use synonyms
at their house. In conclusion , it can be said that even though
money
Use synonyms
plays an important role in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
value , it is not the main
factor
Use synonyms
and other reasons must be considered
along with
Linking Words
it.
Submitted by mhosseinnaseri14 on

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task achievement
Make sure your essay has a clear opinion throughout, ensuring that each paragraph supports your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas further with more specific and varied examples. This strengthens your argument and showcases your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
For better cohesion, ensure that there's a clear relationship between main ideas and supporting details in each paragraph.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
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