There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
many
people
believe that money
is a major key to considering a job
to be worthy. While
it is true that money
is important , other main reasons must be considered along with
it. Nonetheless
Add a comma
Nonetheless,
this
essay displays that money
alone can not be the only main factor
.
On one hand , it is widely accepted by the majority of people
that with money
not all but most things can be accessible. Due to
the offers that the market tries to deceive us with , it is impossible to live without money
. For example
, the costs of accommodation and studying this days
have highly increased. Change the determiner
this day
these days
Furthermore
, the need to be observed is another fact nowadays , therefore
most people
care about their performance in public which requires good clothing that costs a lot. According to
many articles, not only money
is an important factor
, but it is also
needed to get a job
in the first place since most of the time
a university degree is needed to apply for a job
and the costs of learning are not cheap.
On the other hand
, a job
is something that people
doing it must get satisfaction from and it is not possible only with money
. For instance
, most humans have a need to be respected in public which is something that wealth has little to do with . Another factor
would be the working time
and free time
for the workers. Based on a report made by the Washington Post , over 80 per cent of Men and Women who were happy with their job
, had a boundary between their workplace and free time
at their house.
In conclusion , it can be said that even though money
plays an important role in a
Correct article usage
apply
job
value , it is not the main factor
and other reasons must be considered along with
it.Submitted by mhosseinnaseri14 on
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task achievement
Make sure your essay has a clear opinion throughout, ensuring that each paragraph supports your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas further with more specific and varied examples. This strengthens your argument and showcases your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
For better cohesion, ensure that there's a clear relationship between main ideas and supporting details in each paragraph.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?