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Band 3.5

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #resources #products #governments #people
It is true that natural
resources
such
 as oil, and water, are used enormously compared to renewed. It is necessary to save those for long decades as well
Correct word choice
as discouraging
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discouraging
Replace the word
discourage
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 messes from
emphases to
Correct your spelling
emphasising
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 buying fashionable or up-to-date products. I totally agree with
this
 given statement.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons why it is important to search alternative
resources
 with consuming. The first reason is that discoursing
people
 from authority can reduce
this
 issue. When they apply any law it makes
people
 more conscious. Another reason is to find alternative sources. If
people
 get new ways without losing natural products much, it help to decline
this
 overuse trend.
Moreover
,
such
 natural
resources
 are rare, and if
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 go to an end position
people
 can suffer more
such
 as natural water and natural gas. Those are not only important but
also
 part and parcel of our everyday life.
In addition
, some products deserve more use of natural
resources
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 puts some restrictions on
this
 it ultimately will reduce overproduction trends, and consumers will buy fewer than past. In conclusion, saving natural
resources
 is important with consumption.If the government take some steps these can decrease constant production and buy trends.
Submitted by ema on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good. However, your logical structure could be clearer. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea that is fully developed and supported by specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
You successfully introduced the topic and provided a conclusion that summarizes your position. Ensure your introduction and conclusion are fully developed by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and reiterating your key points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the topic, but they require further development and detail. Make sure to give clear reasons, explanations, and specific examples to support each main point. Use a varied range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more comprehensively and precisely.
task achievement
When discussing the topic of natural resource consumption and product longevity, provide relevant, specific examples that illustrate your arguments. Citing real-life examples, statistics or studies can strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • resource depletion
  • long-lasting goods
  • fast consumerism
  • environmental impact
  • planned obsolescence
  • consumer awareness
  • sharing economy
  • repair culture
  • government intervention
  • economic implications
  • conservation-minded
  • sustainable materials
  • production methods
  • environmental protection
  • personal freedom
  • collective responsibility
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