Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in the society, while others think that individuals can have alot of influence. What is your opinion?
While
some people think that only the government is able to achieve crucial changes in the
society, others believe that individuals can propel plenty of turns. I am on the fence about Correct article usage
apply
this
statement as I partly agree with the the
both parts of Correct article usage
apply
this
. In this
essay, I am planning to spotlight a number of my thoughts about this
and bring some examples.
On the one hand, authorities can and should be responsible for essential public alterations mostly due to
having enough tools and funds to trigger them. To illustrate, I would like to point out the example of Finland, the country that is
famous for its educational system. Obviously, this
amazing system Finlad
has Correct your spelling
Finland
due
to the government's true Add a missing verb
is due
politic
. I know that a number of other countries try to copy their methods of education, as it is known as the best one.
Fix the agreement mistake
politics
On the other hand
, I wholeheartedly believe that a single person can become the reason of
a milestone. Change preposition
for
For example
, the well-known Bill Geyts and Mark Zukerberg
are the brightest examples of Correct your spelling
Zuckerberg
this
. Needless to say, it is hard to overevaluate the contribution they have in the world society's changing. Without exaggeration, they have been
essentially changed the world! On the Unnecessary verb
apply
countrary
I can note that Correct your spelling
contrary
such
kinds of individuals are not the usual ones, they are the people with the
certain way of thinking, Correct article usage
a
extremelly
hardworking and creative, Correct your spelling
extremely
they
always see their aims and do their best to achieve the goals.
Correct word choice
and they
To sum
up
all written above, I would like Add a comma
up,
to conclude
that great changes in the
society could happen in both cases, Correct article usage
apply
due to
government's
efforts and Correct article usage
the government's
be
a single individual's achievements.Unnecessary verb
apply
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear logical structure by organizing it into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and conclusion. Ensure your introduction sets the stage for your argument and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. Avoid introducing new arguments in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed examples. While you have provided examples, try to make sure they are fully developed and directly linked to your argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Ensure that your essay directly responds to the question and present a clear opinion. You could improve by making your own stance more distinct and comprehensive.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. While you have clear ideas, they could be expanded with more detailed explanations and analysis.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your point of view. Your examples of the Finnish education system and individuals like Gates and Zuckerberg are good, but they need to be more specific about how they influence society and relate back to the prompt more clearly.