IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Test date 10/11/2018 Some people think that governments should use the money to provide faster means of public transport, while others are concerned that there are many more important priorities than public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years , the issue of
governments
Change the noun form
government
show examples
 funding has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.
While
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 some individuals maintain that politicians should spend public money on education and medical health care , I contend that it is
also
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 important for authorities to utilize the public budget to improve the mode of public transportation .
This
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 essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of these different viewpoints. On the one hand, it is imperative to recognize that individuals should appreciate the considerable benefits of governments' funding
investment
Use synonyms
 in public transport .A pivotal point to consider is that they can reduce traffic on the road , which emphasizes that it becomes environmentally friendly .
For example
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,one can observe that reducing emissions from motorcycles and cars that pollute the environment,
Moreover
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, an additional crucial aspect to highlight is that they can prevent traffic congestion and save travel costs.
This
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 stems from the understanding that they can prevent vehicle growth and money when we use public transport.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to consider the opposing viewpoint that education and medical health care bring several benefits. A significant factor to explore is that they can focus on developing culture in remote areas, which underscores that it helps increase their employment opportunities and income.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that it helps raise citizen awareness and reduce poverty.
Finally
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,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
The advantage of government
investment
Use synonyms
 in paying for medical health care with others is that they can protect and improve public fitness.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that it helps the country integrate internationally. In conclusion, an analysis of the different perspectives on government funding highlights the importance of investing in public transport and other priorities. Ultimately,
it is clear that
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 government
investment
Use synonyms
 in public transportation helps reduce traffic congestion and pollution, save costs, and improve efficiency.
Similarly
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, funding learning and healthcare enhances quality of life, develops human resources, and promotes international integration.
This
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 examination encourages individuals to thoughtfully consider their preferences and experiences that influence their perspectives on public
investment
Use synonyms
.

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content
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and support it with examples. Some points are not fully explained.
coherence
Improve the flow between sentences and ideas to make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
examples
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good for the overall structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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