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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram shows how tea leaves are processed into five tea types. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows how tea leaves are processed into five tea types. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart shows how five different types of
tea
Use synonyms
 are produced from
tea
Use synonyms
 leaves.
Overall
Linking Words
, every type of
tea
Use synonyms
 needs to undergo plucking and withering steps before the next
process
Use synonyms
. White
tea
Use synonyms
 and green
tea
Use synonyms
 are the only types that do not need to be fermented
while
Linking Words
oolong
Use synonyms
tea
Use synonyms
 needs a slight fermentation. Meanwhile, black
tea
Use synonyms
 (both large and small leaves)
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 a full fermentation. As shown in the chart, after being withered, white
tea
Use synonyms
 only
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be dried with the help of an oven. For green
tea
Use synonyms
, it needs to be steamed and rolled before being dried in an oven.
However
Linking Words
, after the withering
process
Use synonyms
,
oolong
Use synonyms
tea
Use synonyms
 does not have to be steamed,
instead
Linking Words
, it directly goes into the rolling
process
Use synonyms
, and a slight fermentation step.
Large-leafleaf
Correct your spelling
Large-leaf leaf
Large-leaflet
 black
tea
Use synonyms
 undergoes the same
process
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
oolong
Use synonyms
tea
Use synonyms
, the difference is that it needs full fermentation
instead
Linking Words
 of slight fermentation. Small-leafleaf black
tea
Use synonyms
 needs to be crushed after the withering step and undergoes a full fermentation
process
Use synonyms
. After the fermentation step is done,
oolong
Use synonyms
tea
Use synonyms
, large-leafleaf black
tea
Use synonyms
 and small-leafleaf black
tea
Use synonyms
 need to be dried with the help of an oven.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tea, process, oolong with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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