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Band 2.5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#minutes #topic #people #technology #relationships #become #development
Present days, the types of communication among
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 differed
due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
technology
.
This
 may help to improve
bonding
Correct article usage
the bonding
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 of relationships
as well as
 create new
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
people
.
However
, arising issues seem to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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loom over
this
 prospect, Which will be discussed below and I will offer my views. Taking
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 closer look at the positive side,
people
 can easily communicate with
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 relations via fast
technology
 like Facebook,
viber
Change the capitalization
Viber
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, and WhatsApp.
Therefore
, they can learn different cultures and customs
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different
people
.
For example
, in
sophisticated
Add an article
a sophisticated
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 world,
people
 communicate with other native
people
 via online apps.
This
 may help to create strong
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 among them.
Thus
, they can improve their knowledge about other
people
. On the flip side, the
technology
 has influenced humans professional life.
For instance
, the modes of communication affected
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers bonding with others like staff and bosses. If interviews or presentations
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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 in
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
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, they can not express their emotions
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 others.
This
 will affect their professional career
as well as
 reduce their confidence in themselves.
Overall
, improvement of
technology
 gone wrong side.
To conclude
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 have
impacted
Add a missing verb
been impacted
show examples
 by
technology
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 diverse ways. Despite the cons, the advantages of
technology
trumps
Change the verb form
trump
show examples
 the disadvantages in a milestone.
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion. You mentioned your views would be discussed but did not explicitly state them in the introduction or conclusion.
Logical Structure
Organize ideas more logically; group similar ideas together and ensure that paragraphs flow smoothly into one another.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples. The use of generic terms like 'sophisticated world' lacks detail - consider providing a real-world example to illustrate your point.
Task Completion
Address the task more completely by giving equal discussion to both sides of the argument. The question asks for the impact of technology on relationships, as well as whether it's a positive or negative development - both should be covered with balanced viewpoints.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you've touched on the topic, explore the 'why' and 'how' more deeply to show a clear understanding of the issue at hand.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Instead of abstract examples, describe concrete situations or studies that illustrate how technology has impacted relationships.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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