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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

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Present days, the types of communication among
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 differed
due to
Linking Words
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
.
This
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 may help to improve
bonding
Correct article usage
the bonding
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 of relationships
as well as
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 create new
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
people
Use synonyms
.
However
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, arising issues seem to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
loom over
this
Linking Words
 prospect, Which will be discussed below and I will offer my views. Taking
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 closer look at the positive side,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily communicate with
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 relations via fast
technology
Use synonyms
 like Facebook,
viber
Change the capitalization
Viber
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, and WhatsApp.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can learn different cultures and customs
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
sophisticated
Add an article
a sophisticated
show examples
 world,
people
Use synonyms
 communicate with other native
people
Use synonyms
 via online apps.
This
Linking Words
 may help to create strong
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 among them.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can improve their knowledge about other
people
Use synonyms
. On the flip side, the
technology
Use synonyms
 has influenced humans professional life.
For instance
Linking Words
, the modes of communication affected
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers bonding with others like staff and bosses. If interviews or presentations
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
 in
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
, they can not express their emotions
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 others.
This
Linking Words
 will affect their professional career
as well as
Linking Words
 reduce their confidence in themselves.
Overall
Linking Words
, improvement of
technology
Use synonyms
 gone wrong side.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have
impacted
Add a missing verb
been impacted
show examples
 by
technology
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 diverse ways. Despite the cons, the advantages of
technology
Use synonyms
trumps
Change the verb form
trump
show examples
 the disadvantages in a milestone.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion. You mentioned your views would be discussed but did not explicitly state them in the introduction or conclusion.
Logical Structure
Organize ideas more logically; group similar ideas together and ensure that paragraphs flow smoothly into one another.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples. The use of generic terms like 'sophisticated world' lacks detail - consider providing a real-world example to illustrate your point.
Task Completion
Address the task more completely by giving equal discussion to both sides of the argument. The question asks for the impact of technology on relationships, as well as whether it's a positive or negative development - both should be covered with balanced viewpoints.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you've touched on the topic, explore the 'why' and 'how' more deeply to show a clear understanding of the issue at hand.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Instead of abstract examples, describe concrete situations or studies that illustrate how technology has impacted relationships.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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