Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
believe that jails are not the only solution for
offenders
Use synonyms
to get away from criminal
activities
Use synonyms
. They think they should be offered
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
and livelihood exercise by the authorities.
Although
Linking Words
it is necessary to give punishment;
however
Linking Words
, I completely agree with their statement.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
education
Use synonyms
is a process by which it is possible to change the moral behaviour of the
people
Use synonyms
. If any person does not have good morality, he/she will surely engage in
activities
Use synonyms
, which is regarded as a
crime
Use synonyms
in society.
For example
Linking Words
, research was conducted in 2022 at different charlands of Bangladesh by Dhaka University, where 67
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
did not know how to read or write. They found that there was a positive strong correlation (R-value = 0.87) between illiteracy and unethical
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they saw 82 per cent of
people
Use synonyms
who were in jail for criminal
activities
Use synonyms
engaged themselves again in a
crime
Use synonyms
. So, we can say that it is necessary to enlighten their mind through proper
education
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is obviously a good idea to create
work
Use synonyms
fields via training to generate income for the
offenders
Use synonyms
. It will not only help them to make money but
also
Linking Words
help them to move their thinking from criminal
activities
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
International Court of Justice (ICA) research, published in a renowned Q1 journal, if they are given to do
work
Use synonyms
, 98 per cent of
offenders
Use synonyms
do not have any time to think about
crime
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is very much necessary to develop their skills and engage themselves in
work
Use synonyms
;
thus
Linking Words
, it will not only enable them to leave
crime
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
to be a wealthy person.
To conclude
Linking Words
, prison punishment is necessary for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offenders
Use synonyms
;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, proper
education
Use synonyms
and perfect training are
also
Linking Words
required to eradicate unethical
activities
Use synonyms
from modern society. It will help them to boost the criminal's economy
as well as
Linking Words
their mental mind.
Submitted by zobaermasum12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear and logical progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
Clarify some of the ideas presented, particularly in the body paragraphs. Simplifying complex thoughts can make the essay more comprehensible.
Task Achievement
Consider diversifying the range of examples used to support your points. While the examples provided are relevant, adding variety can enhance the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states the essay's position on the topic and captures the reader's attention right away.
Task Achievement
You have effectively included relevant and specific examples to support your points, drawing on research studies.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your stance on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • punitive measures
  • mindset
  • behavioral change
  • workforce preparation
  • prospects
  • reoffending
  • employment opportunities
  • socioeconomic
  • low-risk offenders
  • serious offenders
  • balance
  • productive members of society
  • economic burden
  • public safety
  • offender rehabilitation
  • transformative programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: