IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes? How to encourage young people to study?

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It is often considered that a number of teenagers abandon school with adverse thoughts towards their subject.
Thus
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,
this
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 essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
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 causes and motivate the youngsters to gain
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 from the institution. Commencing, there are various factors which give the reasons for not attending the college because a number of students fail in
diffrerent
Correct your spelling
different
 courses with multiple time
as well as
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 many
educatee
Change to a plural noun
educatees
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 found their project very tough.
In contrast
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, a few children sometimes get involved in rubbish activities which
also
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provoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
provokes
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 them to
take
Verb problem
get
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 relief from their university.
For instance
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, in Delhi, there is a coaching
center
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centre
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 with multiple
juvenile
Change to a plural noun
juveniles
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Correct pronoun usage
who are
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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going apart from
there
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their
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center
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centre
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,
reason
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the reason
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 being
is
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apply
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that they are facing
diffulties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
 in their education and do not have any support
of
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from
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 family
along with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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financial issues. Probing ahead, the teachers themselves make their kids aware of the importance of their stream and
additionally
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 illustrate the benefits of
knoweledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 for their own future.
Moreover
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, the government should make rules for
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 offspring who
are not take
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are not taking
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 part in
education
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the education
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 field.
For example
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, the official bodies in
Uthrakhand
Correct your spelling
Uttarakhand
, establish a regulation for
the
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apply
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child welfare and it proves that it is
helful
Correct your spelling
helpful
. In a nutshell,
the
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apply
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federal officials should
make
Verb problem
be
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 aware
that
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of
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hoe
Correct your spelling
how
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 essential the study for
everyone
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everyone's
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 future and conduct various seminars with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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presentations, explaining the advantages of
study
Correct article usage
the study
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 field.
If
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In
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 fact, The tutors should make
the
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apply
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multiple collages and various examples for the famous ideol so that the population will understand the value of education.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure, where each paragraph presents a new idea or point, and that the progression of ideas is smooth and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states your understanding of the topic and outlines the points you will discuss. Conclude with a summary of your main points and your final opinion or suggestion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more supporting details and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Address the task fully by responding to all parts of the prompt. Ensure that you provide a comprehensive exploration of the causes, as well as detailed suggestions on how to encourage young people to study.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and coherently. Use paragraphing effectively to organize your points and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
task achievement
Provide specific, detailed examples to support your points. Use relevant anecdotes, research, or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your arguments more effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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