Nowadays, mobile phones and the internet have become increasingly important in people’s social life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays, phones and various options of social apps

becomes

Wrong verb form

are becoming

show examples

more and more popular for people using social media. As increasing numbers of individuals are likely to use

this

way to socialise. In my opinion, it has both positive and negative effects. Using phones could let people contact others whether they live in the same country or not.

For example

, as an international student comes to Australia to study, Message is a convenient program to communicate with his family. There is no need to pay for international calls and could able to send text, pictures or even videos in a

fast

Correct word choice

short

show examples

period.

Besides

, he could use

facetime

Capitalize word

Facetime

show examples

to give his parents a call to let them ensure he is very well in another country.

In addition

, using social apps could

know

Verb problem

help

show examples

people’s lifestyles. The various social software tended to be a popular trend for youngsters. They like to use Instagram, Facebook or Line app to share their daily life.

Then

, individuals could conveniently know their friends’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

However

, devices are a convenient way to communicate with others but they

also

could bring some negative effects.

For instance

, using electronic devices in

long

Correct article usage

the long

show examples

term could harm a student’s physical fitness and mental health, as he video chats with his friend every day and stays up all night. Iris of the eyeballs could be damaged by watching the screen for a long time and the next day’s mental state

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

could be bad too. In conclusion, with phones being more essential in people’s social

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, it brings both advantages and disadvantages. It could be more helpful and convenient to let people contact others or make new friends.

Nevertheless

, if they are using it in an incorrect way, there is no doubt it would damage communities’ health.

Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on Tue Feb 06 2024

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introduction conclusion present

To improve your essay, focus on crafting a clear and concise introduction that outlines your main points and establishes the direction of your essay. Furthermore, make sure your conclusion summarizes your main ideas effectively and reiterates your stance on the issue.

logical structure

Also, strive to enhance the logical structure and flow of your essay by using a range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs. This will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

supported main points

When discussing advantages and disadvantages, aim to support each point with relevant and specific examples. This adds weight to your argument and shows a deeper understanding of the topic.

complete response

Regarding task response, ensure to address all parts of the prompt. Clearly state your viewpoint and back it up with thorough explanations and exemplification. This will demonstrate a more complete response to the question.

clear comprehensive ideas

To enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, make an effort to develop each point fully before moving on to the next. Avoid overly general statements and provide detailed analysis where possible.

relevant specific examples

Include varied and precise examples that are directly related to the topic. This will enrich your essay and provide a clearer picture of the arguments you are making.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, mobile phones and the internet have become increasingly important in people’s social life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions.

The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of web? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that universities are producing more graduates than is needed, and that less emphasis should be placed on university education. Others are of a different opinion. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.