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Band 5.5

The table and charts below give information participants who have entered the Olymics since it began.

The table and charts below give information participants who have entered the Olymics since it began.
the graphs display the number of participants in the Olympics, in the years 1924, 1952, 1984, and 2012, being
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 as the main features.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
participation
Use synonyms
 of both genders in the Olympics increased slightly, but the
participation
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 was
highest
Replace the word
higher
show examples
 than
women
Use synonyms
 data. The first bar chart illustrates the
participation
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in the Olympics, and there are a large portion of
men
Use synonyms
 participated in that event, growing rapidly every year. In 1924
women
Use synonyms
 had insignificant
participation
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 and only after
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1984 with data over 1000,
the
Add a missing verb
did the
show examples
 number rise until get almost 5000
women
Use synonyms
 participants. The line graph shows a gradual growth in general
participation
Use synonyms
, and after 1984 the data show a dramatic increase in that event

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, participation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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