Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there are lots of
museums
imposing fees for entry
tickets
, while
others remain free. This
essay thinks that imposing entry
tickets
could be beneficial because the museum
can keep a
high maintenance for their site, and Remove the article
apply
this
is important since it will highly attract comers and tourists. However
, there are also
drawbacks, one of them is that poor people or non-employed people such
as students cannot afford to see the museums
.
When a museum
has an entrance
fee, it is believed that the fee will be allocated to keep the museum
maintained. They could easily repair when something is broken, pay the tour guides, and provide many facilities such
as free coffee and snacks for the visitors. This
is very important because these services could attract newcomers, especially tourists from other countries and therefore
, it can boost the country’s income. For instance
, the Singapore National Museum
has a relatively high tariff for their entrance
tickets
, and they could provide the best services for their visitors, such
as keeping the museum
clean and hiring lots of tour guides.
On the other hand
, with the high price of the entrance
ticket, people who have less money cannot afford to go to the museum
. This
is due to
the fact that they still need to provide their basic needs, and instead
going
to the Change preposition
of going
museum
they prefer to buy food. However
, this
issue could be tackled with the government subsidizing the tickets
or even providing free entry
for those in need. For example
, in Jakarta, there are lots of museums
with cheap entry
fee
and special Fix the agreement mistake
fees
price
for students with the help of the government’s budget.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
prices
while
imposing entrance
tariff
for Fix the agreement mistake
tariffs
museums
sometime
has drawbacks, since it will limit the poor and students Replace the word
sometimes
of
going there, it will bring many advantages to the Change preposition
from
museum
because it will keep the museum
well maintained and clean. Therefore
, this
essay agrees that the positive impacts outweigh the drawbacks because they can be mitigated in some ways.Submitted by nadillamntr on
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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, it would be beneficial to develop your ideas further and provide more in-depth analysis. Instead of just stating that the entrance fee can be used for maintenance, explain how this maintenance can directly improve the experience of the museum-goers, possibly by providing examples or data.
Task Achievement
It's important to balance the number of ideas for and against the argument to achieve a more complete response. This essay has more content on the advantages than the disadvantages, which could give an unbalanced view. Aim to discuss both sides of the argument equally.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, transitioning between ideas can be smoother. Use a range of linking phrases to make the progression from one idea to the next more seamless.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen the logical structure, make sure each body paragraph clearly and directly deals with a single aspect of your argument. For cohesion, consistently use pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas without being repetitive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?