Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, there are lots of
museums
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imposing fees for
entry
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tickets
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,
while
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others remain free.
This
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essay thinks that imposing
entry
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tickets
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could be beneficial because the
museum
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can keep
a
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apply
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high maintenance for their site, and
this
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is important since it will highly attract comers and tourists.
However
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, there are
also
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drawbacks, one of them is that poor people or non-employed people
such
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as students cannot afford to see the
museums
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. When a
museum
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has an
entrance
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fee, it is believed that the fee will be allocated to keep the
museum
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maintained. They could easily repair when something is broken, pay the tour guides, and provide many facilities
such
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as free coffee and snacks for the visitors.
This
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is very important because these services could attract newcomers, especially tourists from other countries and
therefore
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, it can boost the country’s income.
For instance
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, the Singapore National
Museum
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has a relatively high tariff for their
entrance
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tickets
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, and they could provide the best services for their visitors,
such
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as keeping the
museum
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clean and hiring lots of tour guides.
On the other hand
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, with the high price of the
entrance
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ticket, people who have less money cannot afford to go to the
museum
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.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that they still need to provide their basic needs, and
instead
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going
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of going
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to the
museum
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they prefer to buy food.
However
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,
this
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issue could be tackled with the government subsidizing the
tickets
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or even providing free
entry
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for those in need.
For example
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, in Jakarta, there are lots of
museums
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with cheap
entry
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fee
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fees
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and special
price
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prices
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for students with the help of the government’s budget. In conclusion,
while
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imposing
entrance
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tariff
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tariffs
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for
museums
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sometime
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sometimes
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has drawbacks, since it will limit the poor and students
of
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from
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going there, it will bring many advantages to the
museum
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because it will keep the
museum
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well maintained and clean.
Therefore
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,
this
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essay agrees that the positive impacts outweigh the drawbacks because they can be mitigated in some ways.
Submitted by nadillamntr on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, it would be beneficial to develop your ideas further and provide more in-depth analysis. Instead of just stating that the entrance fee can be used for maintenance, explain how this maintenance can directly improve the experience of the museum-goers, possibly by providing examples or data.
Task Achievement
It's important to balance the number of ideas for and against the argument to achieve a more complete response. This essay has more content on the advantages than the disadvantages, which could give an unbalanced view. Aim to discuss both sides of the argument equally.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, transitioning between ideas can be smoother. Use a range of linking phrases to make the progression from one idea to the next more seamless.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen the logical structure, make sure each body paragraph clearly and directly deals with a single aspect of your argument. For cohesion, consistently use pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas without being repetitive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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