Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, there are lots of
museums
imposing fees for
entry
tickets
,
while
others remain free.
This
essay thinks that imposing
entry
tickets
could be beneficial because the
museum
can keep
a
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apply
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high maintenance for their site, and
this
is important since it will highly attract comers and tourists.
However
, there are
also
drawbacks, one of them is that poor people or non-employed people
such
as students cannot afford to see the
museums
. When a
museum
has an
entrance
fee, it is believed that the fee will be allocated to keep the
museum
maintained. They could easily repair when something is broken, pay the tour guides, and provide many facilities
such
as free coffee and snacks for the visitors.
This
is very important because these services could attract newcomers, especially tourists from other countries and
therefore
, it can boost the country’s income.
For instance
, the Singapore National
Museum
has a relatively high tariff for their
entrance
tickets
, and they could provide the best services for their visitors,
such
as keeping the
museum
clean and hiring lots of tour guides.
On the other hand
, with the high price of the
entrance
ticket, people who have less money cannot afford to go to the
museum
.
This
is
due to
the fact that they still need to provide their basic needs, and
instead
going
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of going
show examples
to the
museum
they prefer to buy food.
However
,
this
issue could be tackled with the government subsidizing the
tickets
or even providing free
entry
for those in need.
For example
, in Jakarta, there are lots of
museums
with cheap
entry
fee
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fees
show examples
and special
price
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prices
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for students with the help of the government’s budget. In conclusion,
while
imposing
entrance
tariff
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tariffs
show examples
for
museums
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
has drawbacks, since it will limit the poor and students
of
Change preposition
from
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going there, it will bring many advantages to the
museum
because it will keep the
museum
well maintained and clean.
Therefore
,
this
essay agrees that the positive impacts outweigh the drawbacks because they can be mitigated in some ways.
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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, it would be beneficial to develop your ideas further and provide more in-depth analysis. Instead of just stating that the entrance fee can be used for maintenance, explain how this maintenance can directly improve the experience of the museum-goers, possibly by providing examples or data.
Task Achievement
It's important to balance the number of ideas for and against the argument to achieve a more complete response. This essay has more content on the advantages than the disadvantages, which could give an unbalanced view. Aim to discuss both sides of the argument equally.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, transitioning between ideas can be smoother. Use a range of linking phrases to make the progression from one idea to the next more seamless.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen the logical structure, make sure each body paragraph clearly and directly deals with a single aspect of your argument. For cohesion, consistently use pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas without being repetitive.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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