6/2 In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, because of updating technology and communication applications, online shopping
becomes
a trend for Wrong verb form
has become
majority
of consumers. Add an article
the majority
However
, some argue whether Linking Words
this
phenomenon is beneficial to our society or not. Personally, I believe Linking Words
this
is a positive trend, and the following content will outline my reasons.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the convenience of purchasing online is undoubted, Linking Words
beacuse
people spend less Correct your spelling
because
time
Use synonyms
on
shopping and they can efficiently use their free Change preposition
apply
time
, Use synonyms
such
as to have a rest at home, accompany Linking Words
with
family members and exercise in their break Change preposition
apply
time
. Use synonyms
Due to
the fast-paced lifestyle in the city, online shopping can assist people as a Linking Words
time
saver. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
while
workers finish their work, they order meals on food delivery applications, Linking Words
when
they arrive home, their dinners arrive as well. Without any Correct word choice
and when
time
Use synonyms
waste
, people can fully enjoy their break Replace the word
wasted
time
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, online shopping Linking Words
also
benefits owners of clothes and grocery stores. Linking Words
For instance
, on shopping applications, owners can provide Linking Words
detaied
information on their products, Correct your spelling
detailed
such
as price, material and Linking Words
expire
date. Replace the word
expiration
Furthermore
, Linking Words
online
store only Correct article usage
an online
need
a website for operation, it has no need Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
for hiring
numerous employees and reduce the demand Change preposition
to hire
of
renting a place for selling products. Change preposition
for
As a result
, managing online stores is cheaper and more convenient than normal stores.
In conclusion, because of the fast-paced lifestyle in the current world, both workers and employers need to manage their Linking Words
time
and energy efficiently. Online purchasing offers Use synonyms
time
-saving services for consumers and lower Use synonyms
expense
for store owners. Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
Hence
, I firmly believe it is a beneficial trend for the Linking Words
contempory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
socity
.Correct your spelling
society
Submitted by chaoweikevin on
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task achievement
Ensure that you fully develop your main points by expanding on the examples you provide, linking them directly to the question prompt for clearer relevance.
coherence and cohesion
Check your work for any spelling or grammatical errors. Also, consider diversifying your vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
task achievement
Work on the accuracy of paraphrasing in your introduction and conclusion to ensure that they reflect the nuances of the essay question.
coherence and cohesion
Your organization of ideas is clear, but you may consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
In order to strengthen your argument, consider providing more detailed examinations or counterarguments to show a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion.