The chart shows the average life expectancy for males and females in 1900, 1950 and 1990.

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The chart below illustrates the average life expectancy for different genders in during 3 different years between 5 countries.

Also

Linking Words

, In 1900 Sweden had the highest average life expectancy among the other countries.

According to

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the graph, In 1900 Austria had the lowest

rate

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about 37.8 for males and 39.9 for females.

However

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, In 1990

this

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country had the highest life expectancy

than

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among

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the others exactly 73.5 for men and 80.4 for

women

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In addition

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, Belgium and Austria had the same

rate

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in 1990 for

women

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Furthermore

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, In 1950 the highest

rate

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for

women

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was blonge to Sweden, the

rate

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was 72.6.

As a result

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, In 1990 females had the highest

rate

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than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

males except

Change preposition

for

show examples

Denmark. In conclusion, Austria started with the lowest

rate

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for males in 1900 ,

while

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it finished with the highest

rate

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for men in 1990.

Moreover

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, Germany started with the lowest average for females in 1900,

whereas

Linking Words

it finished with the highest

rate

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in 1990 for

women

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Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on Tue Feb 06 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, women with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

163 words

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The chart shows the average life expectancy for males and females in 1900, 1950 and 1990.

Some People believe that it is the responsibility of the individuals to take care of their own health.Others believe that government should make sure that their citizen are healthy. discuss both views.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Pop stars earn more than classical music performers. Some people think this is completely reasonable while others think it unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.