Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, many individuals
are
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have been
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concern
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concerned
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about the income,
which
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apply
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they
received
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receive
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from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different professions.
According to
some
people
, the income of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physicians and teachers should be more than other professions like sports and entertainment personalities.
However
, I agree with the notion, and in
this
essay, I will explain
that
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apply
show examples
why these professions need to
paid
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be paid
show examples
more than others. All medical staff
specially
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especially
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doctors should be paid more because they are
the
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apply
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life
saviors
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saviours
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.
Although
we all die at some point, these professional workers help us a lot to cure diseases. COVID-19, for
instances
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instance
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, where millions of
people
died all around the world. At that time, we don’t see any social media
influencer
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influencers
show examples
, or sports
person
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persons
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
providing
the
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apply
show examples
medical facilities. We only see medical staff who faced
this
pandemic situation and many
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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died
while
curing others
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because they
catch
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caught
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the virus from the patient.
Furthermore
, being a doctor is not easy, they see dead bodies every day and
left
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leave
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their families for their
patent
Correct your spelling
patients
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. They ensure, they
always
Add a missing verb
are always
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available during any emergency situation. So, I think, they need to
paid
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be paid
show examples
more than other working personalities.
On the other hand
, teachers
also
play a vital role
for
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in
show examples
the growth of
the
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apply
show examples
individuals. During the pandemic, when students are unable to attend school or have any face-to-face interaction with their teacher, institutes
held
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hold
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an online class where professors deliver a lecture smoothly to their students. Even though many
people
taught
Verb problem
say
show examples
it’s an easy job to deliver
lecture
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lectures
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from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home, it’s a difficult job for
teacher
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teachers
show examples
as they need to prepare plenty of slides and lectures
by their own self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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. In conclusion, both doctors are teachers
are contributing
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contribute
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a lot towards the growth of
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individuals'
individual's
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individuals
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individuals'
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life
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lives
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while
sports and other personalities just influence
people
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through
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
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their
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
and
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
.
Submitted by sadiahussain028 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure proper paragraphing, with each main idea presented in a separate paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a range of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs effectively.
task achievement
Fully develop your main points with detailed explanations and relevant examples.
task achievement
For a balanced argument, consider both sides of the issue before presenting a clear personal position in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional workers
  • Societal contribution
  • Scarcity
  • Market forces
  • Consumer demand
  • Role models
  • Economic impact
  • Revenue generation
  • Fair compensation
  • Social equity
  • Intrinsic rewards
  • Job satisfaction
  • Media rights
  • Merchandise sales
  • Public figures
What to do next:
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