IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well-being. What are the causes of this? Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions.

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Mental and physical well-being are important for everyone to do daily activites.
However
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, some of us still
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 pay enough
attention
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about
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to
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 the importance of both mental and physical well-being.
This
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 essay will discuss why
this
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 might be the case and how
this
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 problem can be alleviated. The reasons for the lack of
attention
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 to mental and physical well-being
seen
Correct your spelling
seem
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 to be quite simple.
Firstly
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, information about maintain well-being is not available broadly and reach all of the
people
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 are unaware of the importance
for
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of
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 taking
care
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for
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of
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 their own well-being. Being used to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 a healthy body without any
complaint
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complaints
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 makes them
to
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apply
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not pay enough
attention
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 and tend to neglect their well-being.
However
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, if either their mental or physical well-being is disturbed, they will start to seek professional help. Even those who understand the importance of both mental and physical well-being may still be unwilling to pay enough
attention
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due to
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 busy schedules. Nowadays,
people
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 have tight schedules that consist of several activities. It varies from personal job, hanging out with friends, or even doing their own hobbies. Some
people
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 have a hard time
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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spare some of their time to take
care
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 of their well-being.
Thus
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,
this
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 might lead
neglected
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to neglected
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well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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 and might lead to health problems. To encourage
people
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 to pay
attention
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 to their mental and physical well-being more, a
comprehensice
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
 public campaign is required. A good start would be to explain to
people
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 what are the benefits
from
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of
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 taking
care
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 of their well-being.
This
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 can be done via social media
poster
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posters
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 or flyers.
The next step is
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 to make general
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examination
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examinations
show examples
 for
people
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 as easy as possible. On
the
Correct article usage
a
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 daily basis,
people
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 might have general
check up
Correct your spelling
check-ups
show examples
 for their mental and physical health to increase their awareness about their own condition. General
examination
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 should be facilitated by various means,
such
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 as free
examination
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 every month on their work place.
To conclude
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, it is the lack of awareness about the benefits of taking
care
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 of physical and mental well-being and
reluctance
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the reluctance
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 for
people
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 to spare their time
for paying
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to pay
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attention
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 to their well-being. When they fully understand its advantages and can do routine
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examination
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examinations
show examples
, I believe that many will choose to do the right thing.

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Support Main Points
Work on developing the main points with clearer explanations and more detailed examples to support your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure that the introduction and conclusion are clear, summarizing the topic and your viewpoint effectively, as well as signaling closure to the essay.
Logical Structure
Ensure the logical structure flows smoothly by using linking phrases and organizing ideas into clear paragraphs.
Task Achievement
In order to fully address the prompt, consider offering a deeper analysis of the causes and more varied solutions, including personal, community, and policy level initiatives.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
When presenting ideas and examples, strive for clarity and depth to effectively illustrate your points and maintain comprehensive coverage of the topic.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use specific, realistic, and relevant examples to illustrate your points. This helps to ground your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-being
  • hectic
  • juggling responsibilities
  • self-care
  • societal pressure
  • neglecting
  • awareness
  • economic constraints
  • nutritious food
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • stigmatization
  • work-life balance
  • public awareness
  • accessible healthcare
  • destigmatize
What to do next:
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