Some children spent more hours on smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Today, some
children
tend to more time
on mobile phones. This
is mainly because of the digitalization of education and in my point of view, this
is a positive development because of the enhanced learning efficiency.
It has become apparent that, following the pandemic situation, all the studies were converted into electronic format and it led the majority of children
to own a device, mainly a mobile phone to access their school work. As a consequence
, children
had to spend more or less time
that they used to spend on school or classes
, on-screen either to participate in the classes
or complete the assigned tasks. For example
, research carried out by a team of the University of California concluded that,
the average Remove the comma
apply
time
spent by a child on a digital screen has increased by 20% in 2022 compared with that of 2018.
I believe that,
Remove the comma
apply
this
should be seen as a positive development because children
are not required to go to more classes
to learn and they can learn at their own pace, conveniently. For instance
, teachers used to upload what they have taught during the class to social media platforms where everyone has equal access to view the lessons without any restrictions. Like in the past, it is not necessary to go to classes
in person, instead
, they can refer to the same lessons at home leisurely. On top of that, this
distance learning has cut down costs associated with travelling and other minor expenses and ultimately, children
can experience a comfortable learning environment as well.
In conclusion, the time
spent on smartphones by children
is growing rapidly. This
is primarily because of the significant alterations that have been made in the education system to convert it into electronic form and moreover
, this
should be seen as a positive development because the productivity of children
has enhanced dramatically.Submitted by nipunianudhika1111 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph clearly sticks to one main idea. While discussing digitalization of education, ensure that the link between increased smartphone usage and its benefits or drawbacks is evident. Cohesion can be improved with better use of connectives and transition phrases.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully and provide a more balanced argument by discussing potential negatives and explaining why the positives outweigh them. This will demonstrate a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite