In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
The
Correct article usage
Technology
technology
has been developing new devices that are becoming an integral part of our life
, and mobile Fix the agreement mistake
lives
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
one
of them. Nowadays, almost everybody has such
device
. I believeCorrect article usage
a device
,
the pros of having a smartphone outweigh the cons.
Remove the comma
apply
To begin
with, the
communication has been improved since the invention of Correct article usage
apply
mobile
Correct article usage
the mobile
phone
. The whole world is connected with this
technology
as with just one
click, a person can call, text, and video calls
Fix the agreement mistake
call
to
Change preposition
apply
family
Add an article
a family
member
or friends, who are living apart from them. It is Fix the agreement mistake
members
also
helpful to translate any foreign language for better understanding. For an
example, I came to Canada in 2021, and Correct article usage
apply
smartphone
helped me to get rid of Correct pronoun usage
my smartphone
homesickeness
by connecting with my family anytime I wanted and Correct your spelling
homesickness
learn
the language. Wrong verb form
learning
Moreover
, it Verb problem
apply
is
has become a source of personal entertainment Unnecessary verb
apply
becase
it provides Correct your spelling
because
the
Correct article usage
apply
acess
to games, music, and books at Correct your spelling
access
one
's fingertips. With the help of the internet
Add a comma
internet,
one
can listen to music on the mobile phone
anywhere, and anytime
of the day. Replace the word
any time
Therefore
, having a smartphone is beneficial in this
era.
On the other hand
, one
of the biggest flawbacks
of Correct your spelling
drawbacks
this
technology
is potential negative impacts on the
comprehensive health. A lot of time is being spent on these devices, suffering the internet, which impacts the Correct article usage
apply
eye sight
. Correct your spelling
eyesight
Also
, it's
blue light emissions are reducing Correct your spelling
its
the
sleeping time, which Correct article usage
apply
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
Correct article usage
the works
works
of the brain. Fix the agreement mistake
work
For instance
, according to
a survey, done by the WHO, the youth is growing less as compared to the past as a result
of playing games on the
mobile phones Correct article usage
apply
instead
of going outside. Hence
, a smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
phone
is making people mentally and physically unhealthy.
In conclusion, many people are buying mobile phones to make life easier. Although
it provides you with numerous benefits, it's
drawbacks Correct your spelling
its
on
Change preposition
to
the
health cannot be tolerated. The Correct article usage
apply
technology
is good for human life,
if it is used in limits.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by yudhveer4890 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Content
To improve your task achievement, ensure to comprehensively address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in balance, and provide a clear opinion throughout your essay.
Organization
For coherence and cohesion, make sure to transition smoothly between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more naturally.
Support
Back up your main points with more specific examples or evidence. Whenever you make a claim, try to include a supporting fact or example to strengthen your argument.
Grammar
Proofread your essay to correct grammar mistakes and work on sentence structure to enhance the clarity of your ideas.