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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel t oto or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language . Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #reason #language #travel #oto #work #country #someone
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The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
stuyding
Correct your spelling
studying
 a second
language
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing nowadays. Some individuals argue that
people
 learn another
language
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 going
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad or finding
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
,
while
 others
thought
Wrong verb form
think
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 that there are so many reasons for it. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students learn external
languages
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a lot of
purpose
Change to a plural noun
purposes
show examples
. On the
one
 hand ,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
mankinds
Correct your spelling
mankind
 commenced to attending a course for training
international
Change preposition
in international
show examples
language
for getting
Change preposition
to get
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good
Correct article usage
a good
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 salary or
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
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other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
show examples
 of the world.
In other words
, when a person
completed
Wrong verb form
completes
show examples
advancement
Correct article usage
an advancement
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 level in a non-native
language
, he would visit developing
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 or earn good money in their
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
. The Ange research company in Turkey
fonded
Verb problem
found
show examples
 in a survey , %90 of young
people
 could
be
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 began job abroad
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 position.
This
 is because they achieved success in international
language
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the participating course is unable to limit
one
 condition. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 have
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
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 a non-mother
language
by
Change preposition
with
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 different goals
such
 as knowing
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 culture,
new
Correct word choice
and new
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people
 and researching
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
 academic topic in their field.
For example
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 in China
conditioned
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a rule that if a student
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to start writing his thesis , he must
obtains
Change the verb form
obtain
show examples
 certificates in
Correct article usage
the
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other two
languages
.
Therefore
, the students will be contributing
in
Change preposition
to
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 their sectors. Personally,
although
priority
Correct article usage
the priority
show examples
 reason for training in
overseas
Add an article
the overseas
an overseas
show examples
language
 is
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad or
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
, I mention that
people
lean
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
language
by
Change preposition
for
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 different goals.
For instance
, the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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 of
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
 in Egypt summarized
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ten benefits to
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
.
One
 of
important
Correct article usage
the important
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 from it that the other first
language
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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improving
Wrong verb form
improve
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 their mother
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
show examples
. In conclusion. there
no
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
 doubt that a non-indigenous
language
 proper us visit other places
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world.
However
, I agree with
people
say
Wrong verb form
saying
show examples
 that if a person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 two
languages
 he would live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 two different
island
Change to a plural noun
islands
show examples
.
Submitted by ab.ciyani on

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Grammar & Vocabulary
There are noticeable issues with grammatical structures and word choice that may occasionally impede communication. Focus on using correct verb tenses, prepositions, and articles. Ensure that sentences are well-constructed and convey clear meaning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt at providing a logical structure, but there are areas where ideas could be more clearly developed and organized. Transition words are inconsistently used, and paragraphing can be improved to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
While you have presented both views, the essay's arguments occasionally lack clarity and specificity. Develop points further with detailed examples, and ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and consistent throughout the essay.
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