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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their major subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to their main subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention
A number of undergraduates believe that they can gather knowledge from various
subjects
,
while
 others argue that only major
subjects
 are essential which is why they need to focus on that. In my opinion, I think that people can learn various topics from various
subjects
. Major
subjects
 are extremely important
due to
 the fact they will carry
students
' marks, which is necessary for their results. The result is important in light of the fact that companies around the world check good results for freshers' job entry process and
this
 is the main criterion.
Otherwise
, poor marks can hamper their career and end of the day they can be jobless. Another relevant thing is if
students
 spend proper time on major subject
study
 they will understand these
subjects
 supremely well which will help them in their subject-related job field
also
.
On the other hand
, a number of people take popular
subjects
 to
study
 owing to the fact that of family pressure or social pressure, which can be extremely harmful to their future.
For example
, In Bangladesh, a boy wants to be an engineer and a girl wants to be a doctor which is why when they fail to achieve their goal they fall into depression. If
students
 follow their dreams and
study
 what they love most that will be helpful for them
as well as
 for the country
also
. Because without interest no one can achieve goals and that will end their potential career. In conclusion, despite family pressure
students
 should follow their dreams and
study
 what they love the most.
Otherwise
, they can fail in their life and that should be the biggest loss for their family
as well as
 their country.
Submitted by ashraftaukir on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction, presenting the topic and listing the different points of view that will be discussed. Then, each paragraph should be structured to focus on one main idea, supported by clear explanations or examples. Avoid deviating from the topic and ensure every paragraph contributes to the argument or discussion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes your discussion and clearly states your opinion. It's important that the conclusion ties all your points together and reflects on the arguments presented.
task achievement
To fully address the task, your essay must discuss both views equally and present a clear opinion. Offer specific examples to support your points, and strive to develop a logical argument that encompasses all aspects of the task.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your main points. Concrete examples make your argument stronger and more convincing. If you lack real-world examples, you can create hypothetical scenarios that are still realistic and relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-rounded education
  • Interdisciplinary knowledge
  • Adaptable and versatile
  • Comprehensive education
  • Creativity and innovation
  • Broad skill set
  • Personal development
  • Deep expertise
  • Advanced research
  • Academic performance
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Time management
  • Stress or burnout
  • Resources and quality
  • Diverse abilities
  • Job market
  • Hobbies
  • Satisfaction
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