The pie chart displays the online sales in New Zealand retail sector in 2003 and 2013

#displays #sales #zealand #sector

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The pie chart displays the online

sales

Use synonyms

New

Correct article usage

the New

show examples

Zealand retail sector in 2003 and 2013 .

Overall

Linking Words

, in 2003 the travel and clothing industries had the highest online

sales

Use synonyms

New

Correct article usage

the New

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Zealand retail sector.

However

Linking Words

, a decade later, the film/music

industry

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become

Wrong verb form

became

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dominant.

Travel

Add an article

The travel

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industry

Use synonyms

is the highest at online retail

sales

Use synonyms

and

clothes

Correct article usage

the clothes

show examples

industry

Use synonyms

is the second highest making up 36% and 24% of total online shopping in 2003 respectively . 21% is the total online

sales

Use synonyms

for

film

Correct article usage

the film

show examples

/music

industry

Use synonyms

, which makes

Correct article usage

the books

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books

Fix the agreement mistake

book

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industry

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

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the lowest proportion

Change preposition

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online shopping markets.

While

Linking Words

the travel and clothes industries both experienced a decline in

sales

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at 29% and 16% respectively,

books

Correct article usage

the books

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industry

Use synonyms

grew

Change preposition

apply

show examples

from 19% to 22% . Compared with the others the greatest proportion in

online

Correct article usage

the online

show examples

shopping market in 2013 was the film/music

industry

Use synonyms

. Is it grammatically correct?

Submitted by zx00154 on Wed Feb 07 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, industry with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "displays" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

141 words

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The pie chart displays the online sales in New Zealand retail sector in 2003 and 2013

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your local newspaper had an advertisement asking people to help with environmental projects in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. Describe a local environmental issue Explain how you can help Suggest how to avoid the problem in future

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.