IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel, or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #waste #time
In the intelligent world, we have a lot of professions and specialties, so people started to have concerns about their
future
,
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
 they would like to do. So I wonder if it's
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 or bad idea, that young people decide to have some additional
year
 before continuing studying and going to university,
for visiting
Change preposition
to visit
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 or
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 some
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
? I have two points of view. On the one hand, young people could give a good go to a lot of different things before deciding what they really like, and
then
 be responsible for their choice.
For instance
, I didn't have
this
 gap
year
, and now I see how it was essential to me to have one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because I chose
Correct article usage
a specialty
show examples
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
 which is not interesting for me from my first course.
Moreover
, I used someone's place at
this
 university, maybe some person was interested in my
thopic
Correct your spelling
topic
topics
 more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 me, and could be a great chemical engineer now. So, as for me, it's important to have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gap
year
, just to have some time to think, to gain some
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
, and be responsible for your
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 in the
future
.
On the other hand
, there is a chance that if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
will have
Wrong verb form
has
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this
 additional
year
, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not get back to studying at all.
For example
, I have a friend of mine,
she
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 had a gap
year
 in her life and for now, she still
didn't
Verb problem
hasn't
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
choice
Correct article usage
a choice
show examples
 about her job or
future
 specialty.
As a result
, she is not working, just living on
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 of her parents. All in all, it's still important to have motivation and desire to choose the profession for the
furure
Correct your spelling
future
 during
this
year
, not only to have fun. In conclusion, I would like to say that it's a great idea to have some additional time before university
for exploring
Change preposition
to explore
show examples
 yourself,
however
, it's
also
 important to use
this
 time
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 the choice for
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
future
.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure to include a clear introduction stating your position directly related to the question. While your essay addresses both sides, your introductory paragraph should outline your main argument.
Task Response
In terms of task response, ensure you respond completely to the task prompt. Provide clear arguments and specific examples that directly answer the question of whether a gap year is beneficial or not.
Logical Structure
Work on creating a more logical structure by organizing your essay with clear paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting sentences, to improve coherence. Transition words could also be used more effectively to link your ideas.
Supporting Arguments
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Examples help illustrate your point of view and make your arguments more convincing.
Grammar & Punctuation
Be cautious with your grammar and punctuation to both avoid errors and enhance the clarity of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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