It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It has been observed that a lot of
people
who had a massive influence on the world dedicate themselves totally to their work and Use synonyms
underestimated
Wrong verb form
underestimate
with
the idea of Change preposition
apply
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
work-life
. I totally disagree with the notion of these Use synonyms
people
because Use synonyms
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
work-life
can improve strong Use synonyms
relationships
with other Use synonyms
people
and protect Use synonyms
people
from anger attacks which may damage their successful careers.
Balanced Use synonyms
work-life
is beneficial to improve social Use synonyms
relationships
with families and friends. Use synonyms
People
should limit their working hours and allocate their time to improve their Use synonyms
relationships
with their families and friends because Use synonyms
stong
Correct your spelling
strong
relationships
with others will reduce Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
stress
levels and anxieties. Many successful Use synonyms
people
confront Use synonyms
to
huge Change preposition
apply
stress
factors in their daily lives, Use synonyms
therefore
, reducing some part of the Linking Words
stress
level can improve their anxieties about jobs and their careers. Use synonyms
For example
, many successful Linking Words
people
admit that they were once workaholics, and Use synonyms
then
realized that they should take their time Linking Words
to
their Change preposition
in
relationships
and decrease their Use synonyms
stress
levels to increase their Use synonyms
efficacies
.
Another factor that overworking Fix the agreement mistake
efficacy
people
Use synonyms
experienced
is that they experience anger attacks during their Replace the word
experience
work-lives
. If Correct your spelling
work lives
people
completely focus on their businesses and careers, they will put a huge strain on their emotions. These kinds of Use synonyms
people
may show overreaction to others which Use synonyms
result
in some negative Correct subject-verb agreement
results
feedbacks
from their colleagues or employers. Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
People
can able to control their anger with an appropriate Use synonyms
work-life
balance. To illustrate Use synonyms
this
, most successful CEOs around the world have a good balance in their Linking Words
work-lives
, and Correct your spelling
work lives
therefore
, they do not have an issue Linking Words
about
overreaction to their employees. They believe that they can only control unexpected problems by calming down.
In conclusion, I believe Change preposition
with
people
Use synonyms
shoud
arrange a balanced Correct your spelling
should
work-life
because they can reduce their Use synonyms
stress
levels by improving social Use synonyms
relationships
, and they can avoid Use synonyms
to overreact
to other Change the verb form
overreacting
people
which Use synonyms
returns
Verb problem
results
as
negative outcomes.Change preposition
in
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences directly relate to that main idea. Try to make the connection between your examples and the main topic more explicit.
task achievement
While you addressed the prompt satisfactorily, expanding your argument with a wider range of details and further elaboration of examples would benefit your essay. Aim to present more varied perspectives and a more in-depth exploration of why balanced work-life is important.
language use
Be mindful of grammatical consistency and accuracy. Errors in sentence structure and word choice can detract from the clarity of your message. Proofreading can help to eliminate minor errors and enhance the overall readability of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite