The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
average, the regular Change preposition
On
people
's health
might be lower in the future, compared to the people
's health
level currently. I believe that this
opinion is logically true because the advancement of food
and technology can affect the
biological molecules and cells.
As the main fuel for the Correct article usage
apply
body
, diet significantly impacts the system in the human's
Change noun form
human
body
. More varieties of food
are invented these days, thus
it gradually shifts how our body
responds and digests the food
. Not only the type of food
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the source of the main ingredients can be another issue which can change the current human digestive system. Many cutting-edge tools or knowledge are used to catalyze the reproduction of food's
ingredients, so the farmer can harvest their crops faster or the stockman can grow their livestock in a shorter time. Change noun form
food
This
innovation somehow benefits the salesman to get more profit.
However
, this
method can affect the genes of the cells eventually because biotechnology mainly uses the
genetic manipulation to foster the growth of crops or animals. Correct article usage
apply
This
technique utilizes the
chemical substance, which is definitely not a natural one, that can be harmful to our Correct article usage
a
body
in a
long run. Correct article usage
the
This
modification in our genes can trigger the cancer cell to reproduce and start to spread. Consequently
, If people
keep using these practices, people
's health
in the next several years will get in trouble easier than before.
In conclusion, from my perspective, I predict that normal people
's health
in the future is going to be lower than the current one because of the fast growth of food
and technology. The current method in biotechnology is deemed to be harmful to our body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
at the end
of the day.Submitted by shafatriviaa on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on providing clearer, more unified topic sentences that directly reflect on the prompt. This enhances the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph's main idea is clear and directly related to the task.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to write an introduction and conclusion that restate the topic and your opinion clearly. Be careful with paraphrasing to avoid altering the prompt's original meaning.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more specific examples and references. This could be from credible sources, statistics, or personal experiences that directly illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address the prompt by covering all aspects of the topic. Present a balanced argument if required, and state your opinion clearly where the task asks for it.
task achievement
Try to express ideas as comprehensively as possible, elaborating on how each idea directly affects the health standard. Each paragraph should bring a new angle that relates back to the main argument.
task achievement
Incorporate specific, relevant examples that are directly related to the topic and your argument. Avoid generalizations and ensure that examples are persuasive and detailed.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example