Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
Contribution
of Correct article usage
The contribution
art
and music
in the current generation is a widely discussed topic by many people
. Does music
plays
a vital role in Change the verb form
play
modern
world ? from my perspective, yes, and Correct article usage
the modern
this
should be taught to younger people
in schoolsChange the punctuation
.
?
both Change the punctuation
.
the
views will be discussed briefly below.
The first point to establish is that Correct article usage
apply
music
and art
have played a pivotal role in humans
life from ancestral ages. Change the noun form
human
For instance
, there are number
of evidence Change the article
a number
the number
have
collected by authorities , Unnecessary verb
apply
moreover
, paintings on the cave portraits their contribution to art
. In addition
, use
of musical instruments Correct article usage
the use
are
Change the verb form
is
also
seen in those paintings.Nowadays, different variety of music
is enjoyed by many people
around the world.
Secondly
, advancement is
technology Correct your spelling
in
is
brings Unnecessary verb
apply
lot
more accessibility to Correct article usage
a lot
music
and art
, this
helps people
to explore wide
range of cultural events occurring across the nation. Add an article
a wide
the wide
For example
, African tribal culture and music
events are easily available on the internet , besides
, a numerous application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
has
created by companies to produce Wrong verb form
have been
music
, which can be used by population
to leisure their spare time Add an article
the population
listening
their own taste Add the preposition
listening to
of
Change preposition
in
music
.Furthermore
, lots of research states that ,
listening Remove the comma
apply
music
can ease Change preposition
to music
ones
mind and Change to a genitive case
one's
activates
happy Correct subject-verb agreement
activate
hormone
.
Fix the agreement mistake
hormones
To conclude
, in my opinion, young minds are the future generation of our society , they should keep their mental health at good
pace for Add an article
a good
long
period to contribute to social development. Yes , they should be taught Correct article usage
a long
art
and music
at schools.Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and presents a clear position. The main body paragraphs should have topic sentences that introduce the point of each paragraph, followed by explanations and examples. Also, work on sentence construction to avoid run-on sentences and improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay needs to directly answer all parts of the question with a clear opinion. Make sure to provide specific examples to support your ideas, and expand on the reasons behind your opinion. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with details.
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