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Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages. (IELTS 9, AC)

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh #ielts #ac
When do you think is better to learn a new
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
, primary or secondary
school
? Well, some experts think it is better to study a new
language
 at primary
school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
children
 can benefit
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their
brain
 power and less homework
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 these ages to study and focus more. Actually, during primary
school
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 our
brain
 is more sharper
due to
 a high amount of natural hormones spreading in our body. Scientists
conducted
Verb problem
found
show examples
, that younger
children
's
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 can retain and learn more
vocabularies
Fix the agreement mistake
vocabulary
show examples
 and
grammers
Correct your spelling
grammar
, and
then
 when they are growing up
these variety
Change the determiner
this variety
these varieties
show examples
 will
be declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
.
For example
, my niece learned French at primary
school
, and now as a
14-years-old
Correct your spelling
14-year-old
girl
Add a comma
girl,
show examples
 she is considered a native speaker.
In contrast
, she started to learn
Turkish
Change the article
the Turkish
show examples
language
 at secondary
school
, but she finds
this
 one more difficult and
more tough
Replace the words
tougher
show examples
.
Furthermore
, primary
school
has
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not
lots
Add a missing verb
have lots
show examples
 of homework and
task
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tasks
show examples
.
Therefore
, it would be possible for
children
 to allocate more time for studying all lessons.
As a result
, the more time they spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
, the more they can be focused on them. It is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high level of concentration is helpful
to gain
Change preposition
in gaining
show examples
 more knowledge and data and
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
show examples
 them
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our long-term memory. In conclusion, it is more fruitful for
children
 to start at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
school
 if they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to learn a new
forieng
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
,
while
 they have
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
 powerful
brain
 for learning and concentrating.
Submitted by afrough on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion should clearly state your position on the topic.
content
Make sure each body paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by specific details or examples. Connect your ideas using appropriate linking words.
content
Address both sides of the argument to fully respond to the question. In your essay, discuss potential disadvantages as well to provide a balanced view.
language
Work on grammar and spelling to minimize errors, as these can affect the clarity of your message.
language
Practice varying your sentence structure to include complex sentences and to make your writing more engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive flexibility
  • Linguistic structures
  • Accent and pronunciation
  • Cultural awareness
  • Cognitive development
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Critical thinking
  • Social inclusion
  • Fluency
  • Resource allocation
  • Curriculum
  • Native language
  • Secondary education
  • Pedagogical
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